Foiled Again

Sorry we haven't posted since we've been back. The last week has been very frustrating us. We had hoped to jump right in and finish up our paperwork within the week and get it all sent out to Russia. We were foiled in two areas. First, we found out that we have more paperwork requirements piled on by the judge in Yaroslavl. He wants FBI fingerprints (in addition to the 3 state, one federal and one local police fingerprints that we already had), an updated copy of our Child Abuse Clearance (which requires more state fingerprints) and a letter from the California State Medical Board which states that our doctors have the authority to sign off on our medical forms. All these will take several more weeks to satisfy. Our 2nd area of trouble has been our homestudy agency. They were bought out by another agency in So. Cal who has since transferred to Central Valley. We need some of our documents from them, yet they seem to be very unresponsive. They promised to have our documents ready when we got back, yet when they finally returned Elaine's call 1 week later, nothing had been accomplished. Elaine continues to call and email daily. We may have to take a trip down there next week, if things don't move soon.
We were so hopeful after having met Ruslan. We really want to get him home soon. Being hit with new requirements and the stonewalling by our homestudy agency really got us down this last week. We needed a few days to pull our strength together for the long haul. We have re-energized and will do whatever it takes to get our little guy home. Last week we went out to dinner and Ken said "I just want to get him home and get on with this parenting thing." That pretty much sums up both of our sentiments at this time.

Final Post from Moscow

Right now we are waiting for the driver to take us back to the Demedovo airport in Moscow for our journey home. We have enjoyed our stay here in Moscow, although is was much longer than anticipated. We had hoped to be longer in Yaroslavl. Ken says he has seen enough museums to last him for the next few years.

Overall, we think Moscow is a beautiful city. Not just because of the the history, art, and architecture but mostly because of the people. We have found the people to be kind, generous, patient and friendly. We have noticed no negative feelings toward us as Americans. We have been very appreciative of everyone's patience with our lack of language skills. They seem genuinely appreciative of any efforts we have made to speak their language.

Most of all we will be missing Ruslan. We know that we are very blessed to call him "son." Even though it is premature to say so, since he has certainly already been born in our hearts. Since it is premature, we have removed the pictures of him from this site. We can't officially call him son until the final court hearing. Right now, we are very anxious to get home and finish all the final paperwork. Once it is submitted, it must be translated and reviewed by the judge in Yaroslavl. Then, he will set a court hearing for us. After his pronouncement at that hearing, we can officially call Ruslan, "son."

We are being very hopeful that we will get this accomplished before the end of the year, even though that will be a tough order. It could take several weeks for the judge to review our final documents. If there is a delay until after the 1st of the year, then it will have to wait until after the Russian holidays (after mid January). At that time, some of our documents expire and we are in the paperchase all over again. We will be praying hard and working hard to beat some of these deadlines.

We do not want to say good-bye to Russia (das vidanya), just so long for now (paka). Please hold our heart with care until we return.

Out in Moscow

Today we did some touring of Moscow with our translator/facilitator here, Philip. He is very knowledgeable and was a great guide. We went to Red Square, saw the Kremlin, Lenin's tomb, & St. Basil's Basilica as well as the large government shopping mall next door. Today is a national holiday relating to unity of ideas, so we saw some demonstrators in Red Square capitalizing on the situation. We also had some sunshine today for the 1st in several days. Moscow is a very beautiful city, even more so in the sunshine. Especially this center area of Red Square. We were surprised that there really are no skyscrapers in this very large city. The tallest buildings are a series of 7 huge gothic apartment buildings called the 7 sisters built by Stalin. It does give a city a feel of openness. We also found out that some of the military we have seen are military police who have been patrolling more than usual this weekend due to the holiday and to keep any demonstrations orderly.

Village house pic

Here is the pic I tried to add to the last post. Maybe I will be more successful this time.

Reflections/Contrasts

Because the last days in Yaroslavl were so hectic we just put in our blog the most essential. Now that there is a little more time we want to share some reflections on our experiences of the past week.

In general, Russia seems to be a land of contrast. It surely has had that effect on me as I feel the contradictions in my own heart. First, the contrast between the former Soviet Union and today’s Russia of consumerism. You can still see the older women with the drab looking military style uniforms (particularly in the subway attendants) contrasted with the very flashy, colorful and stylish younger women. The average woman in Russia (city women at least) dress up much more than your average American woman and don’t seem to be afraid to be a little flambouyant. This is evident everywhere. Contrast is also seen is how the people live. In Yaroslavl, we had the opportunity to drive all over town. I never saw a single family home. Only huge apartment buildings that look similar to our government projects. Lena, our translator, told us that in fact these buildings were government projects, which are now mostly rentals, some condos. Some are nicer and in better shape than others. Outside of town in the villages, people live in little village houses, which are just little one or two room cottages. Some of these are in better shape than others, also. As I mentioned in a previous post, no matter how run down or not these small cottages were the ornamentation on them was striking; especially the windows. I have included a picture of one with this post.

I also want to mention the obvious strong military presence here. I thought maybe in Yaroslavl it was because there were a couple of military schools there, but in Moscow we see it also. Standing in groups in the subway, marching along the river bank, patrolling the streets; we see military men in their camouflage uniforms and Cossack hats everywhere.

There is a contrast also between the European style sparse hotel we stayed in, in Yaroslavl and the one we are staying in now, the American style Marriott Tverskaya with all the amenities and conveniences. We actually prefer the European style hotel, but are enjoying being in the lap of luxury nonetheless. We actually had hoped to stay with a family here in Moscow, so that we could get a better feel for the reality of life for the average Russian, but it just didn’t work out.

As I mentioned above, we are also conflicted in our hearts. We still have an aching pain left from our visit with Nikolai. When we set out on our journey, we were so positive that we had the right referrals. We never thought we would be faced with the challenge of having to refuse one. We know that other people have experienced it, but somehow we thought we would escape it. Not so. It seems that the Lord wants us to experience every rock in the road. Out of respect for this little boy, we will not discuss his particular issues, but we will continue to pray for him and hope you will too.

Things are changing in the adoption world in Russia. There are less children available due to the newly implemented foster care program. The government has some money right now and is paying families quite a bit to foster children in their homes. I know that it may not be true everywhere in Russia, but we think the orphanages in the Yaroslavl region were very well run and were doing as good as they could for the children under their care. We saw true concern for the little ones in their caretakers. This is contrasted with the harsh realities of their previous lives. Each child has a story and all of them are ones that none of us want to hear. I hope you will all understand that we feel it necessary to protect our son in this matter also. We will not be divulging details about his history before the orphanage until/and or if/ he is ever ready to do it himself.

Despite all the conflicted feelings inside us, our overwhelming emotion is that of joy and hope. I asked Ken this morning what he wanted to share and he said that what is most in his mind is all the things that he will do with, teach and share with his son. He is thinking of the things that he enjoyed when he was Ruslan’s age and he looks forward to sharing these joys, challenges, experiences with his son. Menya tozhe (me too).

In Moscow

Today we are in Moscow. We really wanted to stay a couple more days visiting Ruslan, but since his orphanage is on a military base, they were closed over this long weekend. Not sure why but it is a 3-day weekend for them. Anyway, we took the long train back to Moscow. We were planning to stay with a host family, but ended up at the Marriott Tverskaya. All the conveniences of home. The contrast is kind of weird for us. We got lost on the huge subway system, but finally found our way to the State Tretyakov Gallery, one of the largest art museums in the world. We had a great dinner at a small cafe near the Gallery and found our way home. We think we may have the subway system down. We really miss Ruslan. It will be very hard leaving him here. I still can't believe that we found him. He was genuinely happy to see us also. We can't stop thinking about him. I keep seeing his little face blowing us kisses good-bye. Just had to add this picture of us with Ruslan.

Mama and Papa

Today was a day we remember for the rest of our lives. It was the day that our son called us “Mama and Papa.”

Ruslan is such a special boy. We can hardly believe that we are so blessed to call him “son.” He was so excited to see us and didn’t want us to go. We were able to spend 2.5 hours with him today. We took him out to the town (Rybinsk) to a park to play and for cake and ice cream. We brought him a remote control car to play with. He loved it. He could barely leave it alone, but was gracious enough to stop his play to take pictures with Mama and Papa. He loved playing with the camera too. We brought him some disposable cameras so he could take pictures at the Detskey Dom (orphanage), and he shot at least half a camera of pictures of Mama & Papa. We told him that we have been looking for him for a long time. He said he was waiting for us for a long time, too. He hopes we will come back soon to get him. It was so hard leaving him there. But, we are also feeling blessed that he is in such good hands. He is in a small orphanage on a military base, just outside of Rybinsk, the town he was born in. The orphanage director, Olga, obviously cares a lot for Ruslan. They are very bonded. She is a very special woman who is striving to do the best for the children in her care. She has special preschool classes for the children that a lot of orphanages don’t have. She told me that she believes each child has special gifts inside and that it is our job as parents to encourage our children to find their special gifts I agree with her whole-heartedly. She is very happy that Ruslan found his parents and is trying to help him in his transition. Rybinsk is a small town about a 2 hour drive from Yaroslavl. Ruslan has never been outside of Rybinsk, but he is anxious to get on a plane and come to America. He is a boy with a lot of spirit and taste for adventure, even though we realize that he probably doesn’t have a clue about how far away America really is, or what he is getting himself into. He agreed to try and help Mama and Papa learn more Russian and he will take classes in English until we are able to come back and get him. Olga, was able to set up some private lessons for him with a local tutor for 2 times a week. I hope he is more successful than we have been. Somehow I am pretty sure he will be. He presented us with a very beautiful picture that he drew for us “all my himself” he said. It was a picture of him on the doorstep of a beautiful house (with a cat on the window sill). There is plenty of sunshine in the picture and a colorful birch tree. He obviously put a lot of effort into the picture.

From Yaroslavl

Sorry we didn't post yesterday, but we were far too emotionally drained. It was a very long day. We travelled to one orphanage in Tolbuhino in the morning (about 1.5 hours outside of Yaroslavl) over very bumpy roads in a crowded car. Our translator, a social worker, our hired doctor, the driver and Ken and I. It was a very dismal day weather wise. Not only was the visit to the orphanage emotionally draining, but so was seeing all the poverty. Once you get out of the bigger cities, poverty becomes much more evident. We then returned to Yaroslavl and headed in another direction to Rybinsk, where we visited another orphanage. It is hard to post or explain next the result of our visits. The great news is that we did find our forever son in Rybinsk. His name is Ruslan. We formally accepted his referral and are very excited about it. Unfortunately, he will be an only son. We had a very difficult night trying to decide what to do about the other boy we visited. It was with a very heavy heart that we had to turn down his referral. This second boy had just too many problems. We were very scared that he was just too fragile to make the transition. We spent the rest of the day today trying to regain our emotions over that decision and to focus on the positive with our new son. We will see him again tommorrow. He is so cute and clever. His personality is very infectious. We could tell right away that he was meant for us. He seemed also very excited to see us. We hope to try to forge a bond with him before we leave. This afternoon we did some sightseeing in Yaroslavl. There is much history here as this town has been around for 1000 years. It is actually very beautiful. We had all kinds of different weather today, cloudy, rainy, snowy and sunny all in one day. Now it is time to have dinner. We will try to post again tommorrow or Sunday. Thank you all for your prayers, they are holding us up right now.

2nd Day in Russia

Hi All, We found an internet cafe and are posting from here. Today we made the 4 hour train ride to Yaroslavl. The train was very quaint. The coach we sat in had very fancy curtains and little vases with plastic flowers on the table. We felt a little like being on the Orient Express in the 1940s. Outside the window mostly small country villages. Houses were very small and rustic. Amazingly most of the houses had very ornate window trims and were colorfully painted. The landscape was quite beautiful, although the weather a bit dismal. Yaroslavl is a city with a population around 600,000. There is every convenience here. We checked into our hotel and had a nice lunch and nap. We are very glad to have a driver and translator. It is much harder getting around than we thought it would be. The little Russian that Elaine learned has helped a little, but not enough. Tonight we are exploring the town on foot. Tommorrow we will get to visit both of the boys. Our big day. We are very excited. Truly the beginning of the rest of our lives. Hopefully we will be able to sleep tonight. Trying to get adjusted to the time change.