Playing after School

Here we are playing in Gull Park after school. This picture was taken by Iya, the mother of Ruslan's friend, Anton. We usually play in this park for a while after school everyday so that the boys have some time to release some of their energy. We are so blessed to live in beautiful Foster City. My sister, Rose was just here visiting. She came to visit Ruslan and to help me catch my breath a little. It was a wonderful treat to have her here. I even got to get a massage yesterday. Rose said she enjoyed being in Foster City because she felt like she was staying at a vacation resort. Sometimes it helps to look at your situation from someone else's eyes. It certainly made me appreciate everything I have. Especially, this beautiful little boy.

Since I volunteer in his class a couple days a week, I was able to observe today some of the drawings he has been creating in class. It really struck me, all of them were of me! Today he drew another one of me and him on a bicycle built for two. It was so cute. The teacher had him share it with the class, because she thought it was so cute, too.

Learning to Love

This unique parenting situation we are in is giving us lots of opportunity to learn about love. When we brought this special little person into our home, we loved him as you could love a stranger. The type of love you have for all the children of the world; very different from the type of love you have for a familiar face. There was much to learn about each other, much to experience. Some of the experiences we have had over the past month have been very hard, hurtful and challenging. As I take a moment to ponder, I am thinking now that probably the worst is over (the worst for this stage of the journey, anyway). Now we are entering a whole new phase.

I was at the gym the other morning when Ruslan was at school. One of the other patrons there, a virtual stranger to me asked me if I had recently fallen in love, she said I had a glow about me. I was a little taken back by the comment, but responded after a moment to reflect that “Yes, in fact I am falling in love.” I was just very surprised that it showed. There is a tenderness growing between Mother and son that comes from the growing confidence that we will be there for each other. I am doing my best to respond to his needs, he is feeling more confident about that. Ruslan also tries to take care of his Mama. He opens the car door for her, helps with whatever he can (bringing in groceries, etc.), but mostly gives her kisses and hugs and great big smiles. He is also getting used to the routine we have established and knows more what to expect. That is helping him to feel more stable.

At this time, the weariness from the upheaval in my life is also fading away. I am getting a little time to myself while Ruslan is at school and it is helping me to feel much more refreshed. I am finding a little quiet time for prayer and exercise, some things definitely needed to keep up the pace. I also put in my resignation at work this week. I am feeling a relief from that decision. I have waited far too long for this little guy to mess up now. I don’t want to have any regrets; I want to enjoy my motherhood fully. My work situation was causing me too much stress. I read the signs that the Lord was putting before me and will move on. I am sure that as doors close, others will open. I have confidence that the Lord will provide as he always does. This is definitely an exciting time for us; a time for learning more about His love.

School Days

Ruslan loves school. Here is a couple of photos from his kindergarten class. Ruslan is the good-looking boy in the orange/yellow sweater.

I volunteered in Ruslan's class last week and he was so proud to have me there. I have decided to volunteer a couple days a week. It helps me to see how he is doing and what we need to do to help him catch up. All the kids are really cute and sweet. Although, they are having a hard time understanding why I don't speak Russian like Anton's mom does.

I have also included a picture of him and his best-friend, Anton on one of their play dates after school.

Reflections on Mother's Day

Ken and Ruslan are playing catch outside with a baseball and mitts. I just finished the dinner dishes and am taking a moment to reflect. Tommorrow is Mother's Day. A day I have dreaded for so long. This year I am completely and totally amazed. I still wonder if I am in a dream or if all this is real. I realize I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. This little boy charms me everyday. He often picks flowers from the yard or park, wild daisies or dandelions, and gives them to me as a "padarik" (gift). When I picked him up from school yesterday, his big brown eyes lit up and he ran to me yelling "mamichka, mamichka," and wrapped his little arms around my legs. When he kisses me, he kisses both my cheeks and my chin and forehead. These are joys that bring me to tears.

Ruslan started kindergarten this week, Thursday. He was shy for about the 1st hour the teacher said, then easily fit right in and participated in everything willing. She had several stories to tell me of how he charmed her and the whole class. Our little boy has quite an infectious personality and I have no doubt will soon be a major ring leader in his class. Regardless of the language barrier.

There is another boy in Ruslan's class who also speaks only Russian at this time. His name is Anton. Everyone said that Anton was so happy to have Ruslan in the class, he was smiling from ear to ear the 1st day. They were great friends from the start. Anton has only been in the class for a couple of weeks, so he has a small jump on Ruslan. We had a couple of playdates after class on Thursday and Friday and both boys were so excited to have another to play with. It is just another example of how blessed we are. His class is only 19 children and one other is a boy who speaks Russian. How great is that! Also, I know the ESL teacher, she is a mother of several of the kids I have had in my youth ministry program at St. Luke. She pulled both the two little Russian boys out during the day for a special tutoring session. I was so excited to hear she would be working with them. She was very excited to know that Ruslan was our boy. We are very excited to know that his is our boy, too!!!!!!!

Wow!

(picture of Ruslan on his scooter>)

So much has happened in so short a time we just can hardly believe it. We have not even been home 3 weeks. In some ways it seems like much longer. I have not had much time to post (as I’m sure you have noticed). With Ruslan home everyday, I have hardly had time for the essentials like showering or eating.

We have made amazing strides in our bonding. Ruslan lets us kiss and hug him, in fact, he spontaneously hugs and kisses us fairly often. Lately, he has wanted Mama to hold him and rock him before bed. He is letting down his guard some and is allowing us in to love him. He is also opening up some about his hurts and fears.

We continue to be amazed at what a special boy Ruslan is. A friend from church (and an ESL teacher) has been tutoring him. He already knows the ABCs by heart. We had a neuro-psychological and medical evaluation of Ruslan last Thursday, by a psychologist and medical doctor, both specialized in international adoption. We got some great news. The medical doctor said “Ruslan is the perfect child that every adoptive parent is looking for.” He is smart, handsome and healthy. It confirmed much of what we thought. In fact, in some areas he is testing at an 8-yr old level. Nonetheless, due to his emotional issues and lack of schooling, the psychologist is recommending starting him in kindergarten right now. In fact, he will start on Thursday. The good news is that we got him into a good school in Foster City, Audubon. We were almost going to have to put him in a lesser school in a nearby area since all our Foster City schools are full at the 1st grade level. Since the psychologist wanted us to hold him back a year, it turned out good for us. The school we got him in is much smaller than the one we would otherwise go to, so I think it will be less intimidating. Nonetheless, I am a little freaked about him going at all. I will miss him so. It seems like I just got him, now he is going off to school. Oh no, my baby is going to kindergarten. I know that all moms face this tragedy, I just didn't think it would happen so soon, usually moms get a few years to bond before sending their babies out into the world. The great news is that Ruslan seems to be very excited about it.

Things are going well overall. Each day there is new progress. We had Noah over on Thursday and Friday this last week and some serious strides were made between the two of them, although the 1st day I thought I would go crazy with them both complaining about each other every other minute (definite sibling type rivalry). By the end of the second day, they were actually laughing and playing with each other. Ruslan was really trying to be a big brother to Noah, and Noah didn't really want anything to do with it. We took them both to a SF Giant’s baseball game on Friday night. They both loved it. Ruslan mostly loved the cheering and yelling (and the big slide). Noah was actually very interested in all details of the game, especially the guy “standing on his knees,” catching the ball behind home plate, “that is my favorite guy,” he said. We all had a lot of fun there!

My brother Bill from Seattle just left. We had a short, but sweet visit. He came for dinner, since he is here on a business trip. He's hoping to get back again on Wednesday. Ruslan warmed up to him after about an hour, then they were out playing soccer in the backyard. He called Bill, Uncle Goofy. We agreed that it fits. Of course, I’m Mama Goofy and Ken is Papa Goofy, too.