Crash Course

Our crash course in parenting has begun. We are doing our best to establish a routine and boundaries and express our love and care with our new son. He is really a character and quite an amazing little person. We are very impressed with his bravery and positive nature. He is very happy to be a family boy. He has had a constant smile on his face and is always teasing and playing (even when we are trying to do something serious). It doesn’t seem to bother him one bit that we can’t understand much of what he is saying. He just chatters away incessantly (or sings – on our way home from the park today, he sang a song that lasted for about ½ mile). He is definitely a very verbal child. I am pretty sure he is extroverted. (Ken now has two chatterboxes to listen to and says he doesn’t understand either but just for different reasons!). It is a little embarrassing when we are in the park or a store with other Russians. He calls out to us in Russian and we respond in English. You can imagine we are getting many funny looks. Ruslan loves to say “Mama,” and “Papa.” So, he does it a lot.

We are also getting a crash course in Russian. We have learned a lot in the last 24 hours. “Ne boo doo,” particularly. It means, I don’t want that or something similar. He complains about some of what we have served him to eat, but nonetheless will eventually eat or drink it anyway, so long as he knows he has no other options. He would definitely eat sweets 24/7 if given half a chance. We know that he is testing us somewhat to see what he can get away with; so we are trying to establish our parental role upfront.

One part of being a parent is the love and affection you show to your child. Ruslan definitely has a problem accepting this from us. He was taught at the orphanage how to give us a hug and kiss at the appropriate times (upon greeting and saying goodbye), but he cringes when we spontaneously want to hug, kiss or cuddle him. He hasn’t had this type of affection before, so he just doesn’t know what to do with it. We think he will eventually come around, and will be patient and loving with him until he does. I will share an example of what happened the other day at the park. Ruslan was playing with another boy a little bigger and more aggressive than he. The other boy kept jumping on him and pushing him. Ruslan kept up with him and didn’t complain. At one point the boy grabbed Ruslan and walked him into a pole, before we had a chance to intervene. I heard Ruslan’s head bang against the pole. I ran to him to comfort him. He just pushed me away. It was obvious that he was hurt, but he didn’t cry and didn’t expect or want any comfort from me. This part of our parenting exerience is a little painful (for Mama especially.)

Ruslan is a very industrious child. He loves to keep busy, is curious about everything and wants to be involved in everything. He has been helping us around the flat with chores, cooking, setting the table, sweeping, & hanging out laundry. He loves to play games, so far we have played dominoes and chess (but he definitely has his own set of rules – we are wondering: Are they Russian rules or just Ruslan rules???). We have tried doing some English lessons with him. He is a little resistant, but just like everything else, he comes around. He most definitely loves to play outside and hasn’t found a playground yet that he didn’t like. He mostly likes to run, jump or climb; walking calmly (?), nyet, not high on the list. Mama and Papa are already losing weight from all the exercise.