Journey2Family

4 Eyes

2007-07-16T16:44:00.000-07:00

Ruslan finally got his new glasses. The optometrist told us that his whole world has been blurry. Now he can see! She expects that lots of things will change for him. (We were amazed to hear this, because we think he is exceptional already). He wears them all them time except for sleeping or swimming. There is a 50/50 chance his eyes will eventually improve. We may need to patch his eyes down the line.

His teacher at school told us that he has really been paying attention much better since getting his glasses. That is a positive change already!

He is a beautiful boy, with or without glasses!

In the last couple of weeks, we have noticed a remarkable improvement in his language acquisition. He speaks English most of the time. I call it caveman English, but he is being understood much better by his playmates. We have playdates several times a week.

Ruslan has also taught himself to swim. He loves the water and wants to go to the pool every chance he gets. Usually he wears a swim vest, but he has been taking it off and swimming about half way across the pool. He loves to canonball into the water to see how big a splash he can make. He has also recently been somersaulting into the water. He is quite acrobatic. He has been practicing his ninja moves on the lawn out back. He does cartwheels and ninja rolls by throwing himself over and landing on his feet. He surprises us all the time.

Only 2 more weeks of summer school, then we will be on vacation in Tahoe.

Camping

2007-07-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share this picture from our recent camping trip in Petaluma. It was great to share something that we enjoy with our son.

Family Life

2007-06-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

So much has happened since I last posted, this is going to be a long one. We had Ruslan’s birthday, end-of-year field trips/BBQs/parties, Ruslan’s kindergarten graduation, our 17th anniversary, our first camping trip with our son and Father’s Day. In looking at all of it, I just have to say how happy I am. What a great family and a wonderful life! I am having so much fun and know that I am abundantly blessed.
We kept Ruslan’s birthday a little bit low-key this year. We took him to a carnival with his little Russian-speaking friend, Anton the weekend before his birthday and unveiled his new bike when he got home, then on the actual day (Tues, June 5th) we brought cupcakes to school where he was king for the day. Later in the afternoon Noah came over and we all went bowling and had a few more presents with cake and ice cream. Ruslan loves to bowl; it was his 2nd time and with bumpers, he is not half bad. Even though we thought we were keeping things relatively low-key overall, we almost overwhelmed him with new activities and gifts.
Ruslan was so proud of himself for graduating from kindergarten. He really does do his best to participate in as much of the class activities as he can. He struggles to fit in and communicate. His struggles often break my heart, but I am always impressed at his resilience and fortitude.
We also kept our anniversary low-key. We debated on getting a babysitter, but both decided that we really didn’t want to be without Ruslan, at least not just yet. We spent a nice day together bike riding as a family on the Foster City levy and then we went to dinner at a family style chain restaurant. We don’t go out too much these days, so it was a treat for all of us.
Camping with Ruslan was really great. He wasn’t really sure that we were going to spend the night in our camper, he kept thinking we were going to eventually go back home. He was a little afraid, but when he realized we were altogether in the venture, he settled into it. Most of all Ruslan loved swimming, riding his bike and he particularly loved the campfire, especially the smores (don’t we all).
The Sunday morning of our camping trip was Father’s Day. The campsite we were at had a pancake breakfast in the lodge. Ken went to pay and was really excited that the fathers got to eat FREE. That was Ken’s 2nd best gift. His first best gift was a beautiful tile that Ruslan painted for him. It had a steam train and a rainbow. Ruslan knows that his Poppy loves trains. Ken is going to hang it in his office at work.

Ruslan is such an awesome little boy. He is speaking more and more English everyday. It is really funny when we hear him repeat phrases that we know he has picked up from us, (or from a video). Lately, he has been saying when he gets a little frustrated “Great, just great!” and when he embarks on something like taking off on his bike or jumping in the pool, he says “Start your engines,” from the Cars DVD. Overall, we are all understanding each other better and better. A strong bond of love is developing. Ruslan loves to hug, kiss, and blow kisses. Today, we went to a children’s theme park, Happy Hollow where Ruslan was caught blowing me kisses from one of the rides by another mother. She was quite impressed. I told her that he is like that all the time. It is amazing how much has changed in the last couple of months. I am wondering what I will be posting in a years time. Just like Mary, I’m keeping all these things in my heart (Lk 2:51)

Memorial Weekend

2007-06-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

We had a busy weekend having fun as a family. Friday night we went to the Giant's baseball game with Katie, Noah and big Ruslan (a friend originally from Russia, who just happens to have the same name as our son), and 'Hello Kitty,' who is Ruslan's kindergarten class's teddy-bear mascot. The kids draw names to see who gets to take Hello Kitty home for the weekend. Ruslan was so excited that he got picked. We had to do some fun stuff with Hello Kitty so that he could take pictures and add it to the Hello Kitty scrap book at school. Everyone enjoyed the game, including Hello Kitty. There was a amazing fireworks display after the game in honor of Memorial Day. What a great night! Our other events this weekend included bike-riding around Foster City on Saturday and a visit to the miniature steam trains in Tilden park in Berkeley on Sunday. We have included some pictures of our great weekend for your viewing pleasure.

Ruslan went to his first kid's birthday party this afternoon. We weren't sure about taking him till just recently. He has been struggling to interact with the kids in his class other than his one Russian-speaking friend, Anton. Anton was sick for a couple days this week and it forced Ruslan to branch out a little more. He actually had a couple of play dates this week with some of the other kids while Anton was out. One of them was the cutest little girl named Padina. They walked to the playground hand-in-hand. They were so darling. The birthday party he went to today was for a little girl named Sara, with a princess theme. Ruslan was a little dismayed when he walked in and saw all the girls in their princess costumes, but just in the nick of time a few boys showed up which helped him feel a little more comfortable. The parents of the birthday girl assured me everything would be alright, so I nervously wrote my cell number down for them and left him there. It was nice to have a couple hours break, even though I was thinking of him the whole time. I notice that whenever I am not with him, I worry and think about him. I guess it is a new mom kinda thing. Anyway, no one ever called me and by the time I came back to pick him up he was running around with the other boys having a great time. When we said our evening prayers tonight, he was able to pray for many of his classmates by name.

Playing after School

2007-05-24T17:25:00.000-07:00

Here we are playing in Gull Park after school. This picture was taken by Iya, the mother of Ruslan's friend, Anton. We usually play in this park for a while after school everyday so that the boys have some time to release some of their energy. We are so blessed to live in beautiful Foster City. My sister, Rose was just here visiting. She came to visit Ruslan and to help me catch my breath a little. It was a wonderful treat to have her here. I even got to get a massage yesterday. Rose said she enjoyed being in Foster City because she felt like she was staying at a vacation resort. Sometimes it helps to look at your situation from someone else's eyes. It certainly made me appreciate everything I have. Especially, this beautiful little boy.

Since I volunteer in his class a couple days a week, I was able to observe today some of the drawings he has been creating in class. It really struck me, all of them were of me! Today he drew another one of me and him on a bicycle built for two. It was so cute. The teacher had him share it with the class, because she thought it was so cute, too.

Learning to Love

2007-05-19T09:22:00.000-07:00

This unique parenting situation we are in is giving us lots of opportunity to learn about love. When we brought this special little person into our home, we loved him as you could love a stranger. The type of love you have for all the children of the world; very different from the type of love you have for a familiar face. There was much to learn about each other, much to experience. Some of the experiences we have had over the past month have been very hard, hurtful and challenging. As I take a moment to ponder, I am thinking now that probably the worst is over (the worst for this stage of the journey, anyway). Now we are entering a whole new phase.

I was at the gym the other morning when Ruslan was at school. One of the other patrons there, a virtual stranger to me asked me if I had recently fallen in love, she said I had a glow about me. I was a little taken back by the comment, but responded after a moment to reflect that “Yes, in fact I am falling in love.” I was just very surprised that it showed. There is a tenderness growing between Mother and son that comes from the growing confidence that we will be there for each other. I am doing my best to respond to his needs, he is feeling more confident about that. Ruslan also tries to take care of his Mama. He opens the car door for her, helps with whatever he can (bringing in groceries, etc.), but mostly gives her kisses and hugs and great big smiles. He is also getting used to the routine we have established and knows more what to expect. That is helping him to feel more stable.

At this time, the weariness from the upheaval in my life is also fading away. I am getting a little time to myself while Ruslan is at school and it is helping me to feel much more refreshed. I am finding a little quiet time for prayer and exercise, some things definitely needed to keep up the pace. I also put in my resignation at work this week. I am feeling a relief from that decision. I have waited far too long for this little guy to mess up now. I don’t want to have any regrets; I want to enjoy my motherhood fully. My work situation was causing me too much stress. I read the signs that the Lord was putting before me and will move on. I am sure that as doors close, others will open. I have confidence that the Lord will provide as he always does. This is definitely an exciting time for us; a time for learning more about His love.

School Days

2007-05-16T16:21:00.000-07:00

Ruslan loves school. Here is a couple of photos from his kindergarten class. Ruslan is the good-looking boy in the orange/yellow sweater.

I volunteered in Ruslan's class last week and he was so proud to have me there. I have decided to volunteer a couple days a week. It helps me to see how he is doing and what we need to do to help him catch up. All the kids are really cute and sweet. Although, they are having a hard time understanding why I don't speak Russian like Anton's mom does.

I have also included a picture of him and his best-friend, Anton on one of their play dates after school.

Reflections on Mother's Day

2007-05-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

Ken and Ruslan are playing catch outside with a baseball and mitts. I just finished the dinner dishes and am taking a moment to reflect. Tommorrow is Mother's Day. A day I have dreaded for so long. This year I am completely and totally amazed. I still wonder if I am in a dream or if all this is real. I realize I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams. This little boy charms me everyday. He often picks flowers from the yard or park, wild daisies or dandelions, and gives them to me as a "padarik" (gift). When I picked him up from school yesterday, his big brown eyes lit up and he ran to me yelling "mamichka, mamichka," and wrapped his little arms around my legs. When he kisses me, he kisses both my cheeks and my chin and forehead. These are joys that bring me to tears.

Ruslan started kindergarten this week, Thursday. He was shy for about the 1st hour the teacher said, then easily fit right in and participated in everything willing. She had several stories to tell me of how he charmed her and the whole class. Our little boy has quite an infectious personality and I have no doubt will soon be a major ring leader in his class. Regardless of the language barrier.

There is another boy in Ruslan's class who also speaks only Russian at this time. His name is Anton. Everyone said that Anton was so happy to have Ruslan in the class, he was smiling from ear to ear the 1st day. They were great friends from the start. Anton has only been in the class for a couple of weeks, so he has a small jump on Ruslan. We had a couple of playdates after class on Thursday and Friday and both boys were so excited to have another to play with. It is just another example of how blessed we are. His class is only 19 children and one other is a boy who speaks Russian. How great is that! Also, I know the ESL teacher, she is a mother of several of the kids I have had in my youth ministry program at St. Luke. She pulled both the two little Russian boys out during the day for a special tutoring session. I was so excited to hear she would be working with them. She was very excited to know that Ruslan was our boy. We are very excited to know that his is our boy, too!!!!!!!

Wow!

2007-05-08T23:49:00.000-07:00

(picture of Ruslan on his scooter>)

So much has happened in so short a time we just can hardly believe it. We have not even been home 3 weeks. In some ways it seems like much longer. I have not had much time to post (as I’m sure you have noticed). With Ruslan home everyday, I have hardly had time for the essentials like showering or eating.

We have made amazing strides in our bonding. Ruslan lets us kiss and hug him, in fact, he spontaneously hugs and kisses us fairly often. Lately, he has wanted Mama to hold him and rock him before bed. He is letting down his guard some and is allowing us in to love him. He is also opening up some about his hurts and fears.

We continue to be amazed at what a special boy Ruslan is. A friend from church (and an ESL teacher) has been tutoring him. He already knows the ABCs by heart. We had a neuro-psychological and medical evaluation of Ruslan last Thursday, by a psychologist and medical doctor, both specialized in international adoption. We got some great news. The medical doctor said “Ruslan is the perfect child that every adoptive parent is looking for.” He is smart, handsome and healthy. It confirmed much of what we thought. In fact, in some areas he is testing at an 8-yr old level. Nonetheless, due to his emotional issues and lack of schooling, the psychologist is recommending starting him in kindergarten right now. In fact, he will start on Thursday. The good news is that we got him into a good school in Foster City, Audubon. We were almost going to have to put him in a lesser school in a nearby area since all our Foster City schools are full at the 1st grade level. Since the psychologist wanted us to hold him back a year, it turned out good for us. The school we got him in is much smaller than the one we would otherwise go to, so I think it will be less intimidating. Nonetheless, I am a little freaked about him going at all. I will miss him so. It seems like I just got him, now he is going off to school. Oh no, my baby is going to kindergarten. I know that all moms face this tragedy, I just didn't think it would happen so soon, usually moms get a few years to bond before sending their babies out into the world. The great news is that Ruslan seems to be very excited about it.

Things are going well overall. Each day there is new progress. We had Noah over on Thursday and Friday this last week and some serious strides were made between the two of them, although the 1st day I thought I would go crazy with them both complaining about each other every other minute (definite sibling type rivalry). By the end of the second day, they were actually laughing and playing with each other. Ruslan was really trying to be a big brother to Noah, and Noah didn't really want anything to do with it. We took them both to a SF Giant’s baseball game on Friday night. They both loved it. Ruslan mostly loved the cheering and yelling (and the big slide). Noah was actually very interested in all details of the game, especially the guy “standing on his knees,” catching the ball behind home plate, “that is my favorite guy,” he said. We all had a lot of fun there!

My brother Bill from Seattle just left. We had a short, but sweet visit. He came for dinner, since he is here on a business trip. He's hoping to get back again on Wednesday. Ruslan warmed up to him after about an hour, then they were out playing soccer in the backyard. He called Bill, Uncle Goofy. We agreed that it fits. Of course, I’m Mama Goofy and Ken is Papa Goofy, too.

Learning, Loving and Adapting

2007-04-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

Wow, I have had a hard time finding time to post here. Ruslan as well as work has been keeping me really busy. Ken is busy at work also and we are trying to juggle those responsibilities as well as our parenting ones.

Amazing strides are occurring everyday. Mamichka has learned a lot more about Ruslan and how to keep him happy and he responds with love and affection. He no longer cringes when Mama tries to kiss or hug him. In fact, he really seems to enjoy when Mama runs her fingers through his hair or hugs him. The other night, Ken had a late evening meeting and Mama was left alone with Ruslan again. He wanted her to give him a bath, then he wanted to cuddle with her in front of the T.V. watching American Idol. He fell asleep in Mama's embrace. As he was being carried to bed, he woke up and wanted to say prayers and kiss and hug goodnight.

Ruslan has started to talk baby talk over the last several days and wants Mama to change him (even though we know he can change himself). We indulge him in this because we think it is a way of him letting down his guard and letting Mama get closer to him.

Yesterday, Mama bought Ruslan a razor scooter, with helmet, knee pads and elbow pads. Boy, was there one happy boy. He didn't take the helmet or pads off all day. Ruslan loves being outside and is particularly happy playing with anything with wheels. He loves to drive around with Mama and is constantly giving her driving tips (a real backseat driver). He also insists on opening the door for Mama and makes sure she is seated before he gets in and buckles himself into his car seat. He also jumps out of his car seat as soon as the car stops, so that he can open door for Mama. Not sure where he has learned this chivalry, but it is very cute. He takes care of Mama and Mama takes care of him.

Ruslan gets very excited when Papa comes home at night. He loves to rough house with Papa. It is good because we have found that a little exertion after dinner helps to keep him in bed a little longer in the morning. Hence, how I am writing this blog and getting a little time to myself.

Heart Break Through

2007-04-21T21:07:00.000-07:00

Tonight my boy told me he loved me! Even though I posted early today, I had to post this one, too. It was a real break through for Mamichka. For a while, Ruslan has been rejecting Mama and favoring Papa. Mama tells Ruslan that she loves him several times a day, but he usually says something about it that we can’t understand. Mama has still reassured him that she loves him, nonetheless. He allows Mama to kiss him good-night, but with a little bit of a cringe; a little stiffly he allows a hug; but Papa he wraps himself around and gives a kiss without any prompting. Tonight, that all changed. Early in the evening, Ruslan had a sliver in his hand. He started to show Mama, but then decided better to bypass her and show Papa. Mama was hurt. Papa said “You should show that to Mama,” but Mama had had enough and got up to leave the room crying. Ruslan ran after her and hugged her legs. She bent down and held him for a while, until she stopped crying. Then he reached up his little hand with the sliver and she took him over to the light to examine and fix it. Later in the evening, Papa fell asleep and was out cold when bath time arrived, so it was left to Mama. Ruslan asked for Papa, but was stuck with Mama alone for bath and bedtime routine (so far Mama and Papa have been doing it as a team). After the book reading part, we usually say prayers then it’s kiss and hug time. At that point tonight, Ruslan grabbed Mama’s neck and hugged her tightly, he kissed her on the cheek without prompting and said (in English), “I love you, Mama.” Mama said, “I love you too, Baby, “ “Ya tebya lyublyu!” Then he said, (in English) “Good-night.”

The Real Journey Begins

2007-04-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

We have been home since late Wednesday night (April 18th). Our friends, Toni and Wayne picked us up at the airport and delivered us to our door around 11:00PM. Ruslan got very excited when he recognized the front door (from the pictures we had left with him previously). He started doing a little jig. After he walked into the front door, he was very impressed to see the picture of the three of us on the desk in the hallway (the picture we took on our first visit, finally legal to post – see above). He quickly noticed all the pictures of him around the house, including the prominently displayed paintings he made for us. Most of all he loved his own room and the toys he found in the toy boxes in the dining room. He wanted to stay up playing all night, but fatigue got the better of all of us. In fact, the fatigue from jet lag has plagued us the last couple of days. (Mama and Ruslan have been getting up around 5:30AM and getting very tired mid-day)

We have slowly been introducing Ruslan to our home, the neighborhood and our friends. He seems to be adapting well and we are very proud of his positive nature. Every day he learns a little more English and we learn a little more Russian. It is a very interesting situation. Yesterday, we met our Russian neighbors (just two doors down). Ruslan was out in the back playing “football” (soccer) with our friend Alon, and they (the Russian neighbors) heard Ruslan yelling in Russian (at his normal volume), so they came out to see who it was. We talked to them again this morning and their 14 yr old son may be interested in doing some babysitting for Ruslan over the summer. That would give Mama a chance to go to the gym, and get a little downtime.

Ruslan continues to test his boundaries, which is very challenging for “Mamichka,” (as he affectionately calls me), and for “Papka,” (as he also calls Ken). We call him Ruslanchik, his Russian nickname.
My sister, Mary visited yesterday (as she was in town on business). She had a good laugh (since she is the proud mother of my teenage niece, Keilan and college age nephew, Ryan), as she witnessed a typical defiant moment during lunch. She was happy to see that our parenting challenges are in full swing and we are able to experience all the joys of parenting. “Ruslan Rachko” pronounced by him with heavy emphasis on the rolling r’s is growing in our hearts a little more every day. (The following pic was taken at the Moscow zoo, April 17, 2007)

On Our Way Home!!!!

2007-04-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

We are finally on our way home today, Wednesday, April 18th! We can not wait to be on familiar territory and see our home and sleep in our bed. Ruslan is equally as excited, although we are sure he has no idea what to really expect.

Monday we went to the American Embassy and filed for Ruslan's visa for entry into the U.S. It was a very interesting experience. There were about 15 other families there. Only one other was in Ruslan's age range. A little girl, 5 yrs old going to LA with her new parents. All the rest were under 3 yrs of age. The parents of the little 5 yr old girl said that she hasn't said one word to them in the 5 days they have had here. Boy, it is sure true when they told us that all kids respond differently depending on their personalities. Ruslan hasn't stopped talking. He gets a little quiet when there are other Russian people talking to us, but other than that he is very talkative, loud and rambunctious (sp?). He seems to be very positive about the whole experience, yet we can tell that it is a challenge for him from his defiant behavior. He challenges us at every turn. It is very difficult for us to maintain positive discipline. He pushes every button. This is when we could really use better language skills. We are praying for our patience and love to show through.

Well, you should not expect to get another post from us from Russia. The next ones will be from our home. Praise God!

Honeymoon Period

2007-04-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

Well a couple of days have passed and we think the honeymoon period may be over. We have heard that for some children it can last for months. I guess our son is a fast learner in this regard as well. Anyway, we have had a few meltdowns and definite rebellion from Ruslan on almost anything we want him to do (eat, sleep, get dressed, wash up, hold our hand, etc.) We are pretty sure he has upped his level of testing us. On the bright side, he has started letting us hold and cuddle him a little and doesn’t pull away when we hug or kiss him. We tell him often that we love him and are trying to show him with our actions. Communication is the biggest challenge, but we think it better to struggle along rather than get someone to translate for us. Our translator was developing a stronger bond with him that he was with us, so I don’t think that having someone intervene is very helpful in the long run. Right now we are not pushing much English on Ruslan, we know that he will get bombarded with it when we hit U.S soil, so we are just giving him time to acquaint with us.

Yesterday we arrived in Moscow. Wow, how exciting for Ruslan. We hired a driver to bring us because the train was full. It was a nice choice. The highway from Yaroslavl to Moscow is definitely a lot better than the one from Yaroslavl to Rybinsk. The driver had a nice SUV and we were quite comfortable. It was nice to be able to enjoy the countryside. We stopped at a very interesting Russian cottage that was open to the public. The people there were dressed in traditional Russian garb and sang some songs for the crowd. We were able to go inside and look at the construction of the log cabin and browse the souvenirs.

As we drove into Moscow, Ruslan was very impressed with all the nice buildings and bridges, he kept remarking how beautiful Moscow was. As we got stuck in traffic he fell asleep until we arrived at our apartment. Our apartment is beautiful, very spacious with all the conveniences. We have a beautiful view over Moscow and can see the Kremlin from our window. We are on the 22nd floor of a high-rise apartment overlooking Novy Arbat street. Novy Arbat seems to us to be a cross between Broadway in New York and the Las Vegas strip. There are many nice shops, restaurants, coffee bars (hoorah!) and casinos. The skateboarders and roller skaters are out in force in the evening on the wide sidewalk.

Our apartment has a very large tile tub (almost a small swimming pool). Ruslan enjoyed his bath, practicing his breaststroke and backstroke. He told us he wants to take up swimming as his sport. He also seems to be good at gymnastics and has showed us a few of his moves. We are quite amazed that he seems to be a good dancer. Not sure where he learned the moves, but he dances sort of like the teens back home.
Today we visited Krasnaya Ploshid (Red Square) (about a 20 minute walk from our apartment). Ruslan was excited to see it, but wanted to return to our apartment soon after getting there. He had enough patience for a few choice photos and lunch at the GUM shopping mall, but that was it. Right now, he is listening to some Russian children’s music CD’s while he puts together some puzzles. We are waiting for the Doctor to arrive to do Ruslan’s physical report for the U.S. Embassy, then tomorrow (hopefully) we will apply for his American visa. If all goes well, we should get it Tuesday and be on our plane home on Wednesday. We all can’t wait. Ruslan told us that he likes Moscow, but is anxious to get to America. See you all soon! Love, Ken, Elaine and Ruslan Rachko

Crash Course

2007-04-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

Our crash course in parenting has begun. We are doing our best to establish a routine and boundaries and express our love and care with our new son. He is really a character and quite an amazing little person. We are very impressed with his bravery and positive nature. He is very happy to be a family boy. He has had a constant smile on his face and is always teasing and playing (even when we are trying to do something serious). It doesn’t seem to bother him one bit that we can’t understand much of what he is saying. He just chatters away incessantly (or sings – on our way home from the park today, he sang a song that lasted for about ½ mile). He is definitely a very verbal child. I am pretty sure he is extroverted. (Ken now has two chatterboxes to listen to and says he doesn’t understand either but just for different reasons!). It is a little embarrassing when we are in the park or a store with other Russians. He calls out to us in Russian and we respond in English. You can imagine we are getting many funny looks. Ruslan loves to say “Mama,” and “Papa.” So, he does it a lot.

We are also getting a crash course in Russian. We have learned a lot in the last 24 hours. “Ne boo doo,” particularly. It means, I don’t want that or something similar. He complains about some of what we have served him to eat, but nonetheless will eventually eat or drink it anyway, so long as he knows he has no other options. He would definitely eat sweets 24/7 if given half a chance. We know that he is testing us somewhat to see what he can get away with; so we are trying to establish our parental role upfront.

One part of being a parent is the love and affection you show to your child. Ruslan definitely has a problem accepting this from us. He was taught at the orphanage how to give us a hug and kiss at the appropriate times (upon greeting and saying goodbye), but he cringes when we spontaneously want to hug, kiss or cuddle him. He hasn’t had this type of affection before, so he just doesn’t know what to do with it. We think he will eventually come around, and will be patient and loving with him until he does. I will share an example of what happened the other day at the park. Ruslan was playing with another boy a little bigger and more aggressive than he. The other boy kept jumping on him and pushing him. Ruslan kept up with him and didn’t complain. At one point the boy grabbed Ruslan and walked him into a pole, before we had a chance to intervene. I heard Ruslan’s head bang against the pole. I ran to him to comfort him. He just pushed me away. It was obvious that he was hurt, but he didn’t cry and didn’t expect or want any comfort from me. This part of our parenting exerience is a little painful (for Mama especially.)

Ruslan is a very industrious child. He loves to keep busy, is curious about everything and wants to be involved in everything. He has been helping us around the flat with chores, cooking, setting the table, sweeping, & hanging out laundry. He loves to play games, so far we have played dominoes and chess (but he definitely has his own set of rules – we are wondering: Are they Russian rules or just Ruslan rules???). We have tried doing some English lessons with him. He is a little resistant, but just like everything else, he comes around. He most definitely loves to play outside and hasn’t found a playground yet that he didn’t like. He mostly likes to run, jump or climb; walking calmly (?), nyet, not high on the list. Mama and Papa are already losing weight from all the exercise.

Hooray! for Family Day!

2007-04-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

Today is April 9, 2007. This is the day we officially became a family! Our translator, Lena went to court today to pick up our official court decree from the judge. We were supposed to go with her, but the judge called her early in the morning and told her to come right then, since he had another appointment at the time we were scheduled for. No matter, when Lena came for us she already had the decree in hand. Then we went off to the registrar’s office to register our documents. It is all final and official. No one can contest anymore.

Some people would call this our “Gotcha day,” but we decided that we don’t like that term, so we will use “Family Day.” As we wait for Lena to finish up some paperwork and set up a time for us to go and get our sweet little boy for good, we are discussing some things we might like to do in the future on “Family Day.” We will probably like to do something to celebrate Russian heritage and to celebrate family.

We have Ruslan’s clothes and the final gifts for the orphanage workers all packed. It is snowing outside. We are waiting again. We just found out that we will not be able to go get Ruslan till tommorrow since our social worker was sick and pre-prepared our documents with tommorrow's date on it. Since no one is in the office to change the date, so we have to wait. Oh, well, it's what we are good at. At least for now.

To bide our time, we went to use the internet and have thoroughly enjoyed your posts. Thanks to all of you who were able to send us an email. I have been trying to send individual responses, but for some reason this computer won't let us do that. After we get Ruslan tommorrow, I am not sure how much time we will have to make replies, since we will have to go all the way down to the internet cafe to do that (right now we use Lena's computer across the street from our apartment).

Easter Resurrection

2007-04-08T05:06:00.000-07:00

Today is Easter! A time of new life! Even though it has gotten much colder in the last week here in Russia, you can see signs of spring everywhere. The little buds on the trees and bushes; a feeling in the air. Wow, we are reflecting today on how true that is for us. We don’t have our little boy with us today, but in just a couple of days we will have him forever. That is truly a resurrection, and will be a whole new life for us.

We are looking at Ruslan’s schedule and realizing how important it will be to keep him on a similar schedule once he is with us. That in itself will be a big challenge for us.

Just a little while ago, Ken and I went for our Easter treat to McDonald’s for a good cappuccino and pastry. Believe it or not, they have a very nice coffee bar there, similar to our Starbucks back home. (In general, coffee is a bit lacking here. Most Russians drink instant.) As we were sitting at Mc Donald’s, we were practicing our Russian and realizing that although we know what seems like a lot of words, it is a drop in the bucket to understanding anyone who really speaks Russian. When we talk to Ruslan in Russian, he gives us a very funny look, kind of like he is saying, “Oh Mom, how pitiful.” I always ask him if he understands me, and he says, “Da,” but looks a little disgusted anyhow. This new life will be very challenging for a while. We ache to be able to understand what he says to us. We hope and pray that his positive nature will see him through.

Easter Greetings!

2007-04-07T03:03:00.000-07:00

Just want to wish all of you a Happy Easter. We are missing home very much can't wait to get back. We really appreciate the emails we have received, because it is like a touch of home. Please feel free to send a note, if you can.

We are learning more and more about our boy. We thought he was a quiet studious type, but we have come to find out that, that was just him being shy with us at first. We notice how he interacts with other children at the orphanage and how he is with other children at the playground. He is very friendly and outgoing. In fact, we were told he is one of the leaders at the orphanage. I think he can be quite feisty. He has started to boss Mama around a little, so I can see we will have our hands full with him. He doesn't like to walk anywhere, he likes to run. Tons of energy to burn.

We miss him already, since we have moved over to an apartment in Yaroslavl. We have displaced a mother and son, while they go to stay with their grandparents nearby. They will make a little extra money renting their apartment to us. It is great because there is a small boy's room for Ruslan to sleep in and some toys they said he could play with. The flat is simple, but clean and cozy so perfect for us. It is also close to the center of town, so we can walk to everywhere.

We look forward to going to church tommorrow, Easter Sunday. There are no Catholic churches here, so we will be going to Russian Orthodox church with our translator. No problem, since Ken is somewhat familiar with the routine there. We have much to be grateful for this Easter. Praise God!

Happy Boy!

2007-04-05T12:58:00.000-07:00

Today we had a conversation with one of the orphanage personnel who told us that Ruslan is so excited to come with us that he is having a hard time sleeping. She said that usually he has no trouble taking his afternoon nap, but he told her that lately he can’t stop thinking about what lays before him; the time we will be in Yaroslavl, the train ride and trip to Moscow, the long plane ride home, not to mention his new life in America. She also said that he can’t stop talking about his Mom and Dad. He brags about us all the time to his teachers and the other kids in the orphanage. “My mom this…; and my dad that…” She said that he thinks we are terrific. He is one happy boy. He is just a little afraid that we might change our minds about him, so he wants us to come and get him soon. He knows that we are waiting for some paperwork to be completed, but she said that he asks everyday, why the paperwork is not done yet.

We are overwhelmed with gratitude to learn about all this. Even though we are a little nervous every time before we have a meeting with Ruslan, we always end up with such a good feeling when we see him. He is just so darn cute and engaging. We have been worried about the language barrier, because he just chatters away at us and we don’t have a clue what he is saying. He doesn’t seem to get frustrated, but we have a feeling that day will come. Right now he is so curious about everything. The last time he was over here at the apartment, he had to snoop around every room, turning on and off the light switches and touching everything we would let him touch. Every thing is so new and he is enjoying every minute of his new discoveries. We asked him if he was afraid, and he says very confidently, “no, of course not.”

Because his world has been so small, we know that we will have to protect him for awhile until he aclimates to the new culture. This will truly be a huge transition for him.

Today, we got to see him again and took him to the park just outside the apartment. He started playing with another boy about his age. For a time, papa and mama were left in the dust; but we soon started to interject ourselves into their play to not be left out. The other little boy couldn't quite understand why we weren't talking much. Ruslan was trying to explain to him, when he realized that we spoke English. This other little boy also knew some English that he had been learning in school, so he started to talk to us. Ruslan was not happy about it. He quickly ran to me and hugged me around my legs. I realized that he is still insecure about our love. I think he didn't want the other boy to take over our affections. He started to pull us away and wanted us to go home.

I can't wait to be with our little guy 24/7. It does seem like this is taking a long time; but of course, what else should I have expected. Our 10 day wait period should be up this Friday (Good Friday), but the court has decided they can't issue our decree until Monday. The passport office won't be open Monday, so we won't be able to get Ruslan until Tuesday. Ugh! We leave Rybinsk on Saturday morning and will have a couple of days in Yaroslavl by ourselves. Hopefully, we will get a driver to take us to visit Ruslan on Monday. It is getting closer to when we will be a true family. We hope to be able to express to Ruslan how much we love him so that he won't have to worry or be insecure about it.

Best Birthday Ever!

2007-04-01T11:57:00.000-07:00

Today, Palm Sunday, April 01, 2007 was my best birthday ever. We went to church in the morning and participated in a 3 hour service. A very nice man and neighbor of Michelle, Sasha agreed to translate for us. The pastor, Yuri gave a very inspiring sermon. Toward the end, I was blessed along with the pastor and another parishioner who have birthdays in April. The woman who instigated the birthday blessings did not know that it was my birthday, so she started to honor the other two. One of the other parishioners who was invited to my party later in the day mentioned that it was my birthday also, so the woman added me to the group. When she gave me a birthday package, she told me that for some reason she knew she had to make 3 packages, but didn’t know who the 3rd person would be. God must have told her to include the 3rd gift.

Then we headed back to Michelle’s apartment and waited for Ruslan and Olya to show up. They called us on the phone when they arrived so that we could wave at them out the window. Then Ruslan ran up the stairs (3 flights) very excited to see us again. He was a little shy at first, but warmed up in a brief time. He had made a gift for me; it was a shadow box with a paper vase with flowers. Very beautiful! We took him outside to play in a nearby park with another little 5 yr old girl named Leeza. She is the daughter of the pastor, who came back to spend the day with Michelle and us. Michelle and Olya stayed behind to get dinner ready, whilst we went off with the children.

Ruslan really enjoyed the park. They had really good play structures, something they don’t have at the Detsky Dom (orphanage). Ruslan had so much fun zooming down the big slide. He came backwards, feet first, head first, hands first, every which way; laughing all the way. He climbed up on everything with no fear at all. What a bundle of energy! He was very nice to Leeza and tried to include her, but she just couldn’t keep up with him. He played very easily with other kids in the playground. Then, I spotted a small carnival on the other side of the park. We walked over and rode on a few little rides.

When we made it back to the apartment, we were greeted with a boisterous chorus of “Happy Birthday” in Russian. The whole apartment was decorated with balloons and a big homemade H-A-P-P-Y B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y sign. Another friend from church, Rita came to join us for dinner. Michelle served up some homemade pizza, but Ruslan was having nothing to do with it. Apparently he had never had pizza before, and wasn’t about to start today. Instead Michelle made him some hotdogs. He ate 6 of them, along with a banana. Wow! I guess we have our food bill cut out for us.

After dinner, I was initiated into a Russian birthday custom. Everyone gets to ask the birthday person a personal question. They asked what was my favorite birthday ever, what was my funniest birthday and have I ever celebrated a foreign birthday. After I shared my birthday stories, everyone went around the circle giving a word to describe me. It was a wonderful form of affirmation. They went around the circle several times. When it came to Ruslan’s turn, he used these adjectives for me: “beautiful,” “caring,” and “gentle.” I almost cried. I will also share the words Ken used: “strong,” “fun-loving,” and “perseverance.” My new friends used: “attractive,” “people-loving,” “brave,” and “hospitality.” It was a great custom that I think we shall adopt for our future birthday celebrations.

Next, the kids went into the kitchen with Michelle to get the cake, homemade chocolate with white frosting, my favorite! They came back carrying the lighted cake and singing Happy Birthday once again in Russian. Ruslan was all set to help me blow the candles on the count of three. He has quite a strong lung capacity. Then, we had tea, coffee and cake. I was shocked to discover that Ruslan likes tea (with lots of sugar mind you). We will have to break him of that habit, or at least move him into a decaffeinated variety. With the cake, cookies, candy and tea he had today, I feel sorry for the staff at the detsky dom tonight. He was already bouncing off the walls without those toxic additions.

Unfortunately, the evening drew to an end and we called a cab to take Ruslan back to detsky dom, loaded with balloons for the other kids. Olya went with us, so she could make sure he got safely back inside, since they won’t let Ken and I on the base anymore. Apparently our guest passes have expired and they won’t renew them. We said our good-byes. It was sad to see him go. Soon, my love, you won’t have to go back any more.

Today, I know that I am very blessed.

Arefino

2007-03-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

We took the bus to Arefino today. It is a village about 1.5 hours east of Rybinsk. The bus was an experience in itself. Very rusty, rickety and run down, but it did have ruffled curtains, go figure? Michelle bought our tickets early to ensure we got a seat. If not, we would have been standing, since the bus was jammed with people. The roads everywhere outside of Moscow are in horrible condition. Some of the potholes are so big, I think you could lose a small child in them. Our bus bumped along through the countryside. I love the quaint village houses which I have discussed in this blog on our 1st visit here. There are a very few that have seen some repairs in the last several years, most are very shabby and almost uninhabitable.

The orphanage in Arefino is one of the most run-down and bleak. They do not get much funding for anything. As we walked through the gate, I couldn't believe the state of the playground. There was only a couple of rusty metal poles to climb on. We went in and set up to do a craft project with the children. We started with the younger children. How sweet and beautiful they were. They were so excited to have the little craft project that we brought. Even though, once again, I couldn't understand what they were saying to me, they sure seemed like they enjoyed my attention and help. There was one little guy, who looked like an elf that was very attracted to Ken. He giggled and laughed as Ken helped him with his project. We found out that he just recently came from the orphanage that Ruslan is in. In fact, he said he remembered Ruslan. The children in Ruslan's orphanage all graduate to this one in Arefino when they turn 7. This is where Ruslan would have gone in just a couple of months on his birthday. That knowledge really shakes me.

The older children were lining up chomping at the bit to get in for their turn. We barely had enough seats for all of them. There are 51 children in this orphanage from 7 to 16 years old. We only worked with some of them today, since about 18 have gone home for spring vacation. The rest (33) are true orphans. The ones that went home to family, are social orphans. There parents are just too poor to care for them, so they live in the orphanage. The children we worked with all enjoyed making the key chain projects we had for them. I was surprised that even the older boys seemed to enjoy it. At every step of the process, they looked to us for approval on what they had accomplished. They were so unsure of themselves. The small amount of recognition we gave them, really seemed to lift them up. I can't express how much my heart goes out to them.

I really admire Michelle for being able to do this wonderful ministry week after week. It is heart breaking work, but she brings such hope and joy, even if for only an hour or two. These children deserve so much more. I truly hope that we can help her with some of the goals she wants to achieve for them. This summer she is hosting a mission team that will come and build some decent bathroom stalls. Right now, they just have an open room with windows. No privacy at all. Thank goodness I brought my own TP because I noted that they had old books next to the commodes so that the children could tear off a page to wipe themselves. One of Michelle's goals is to be able to get them some decent playground equipment. I hope that we can come home we will be able to help do some fundraising to support that effort. What a miracle it would be for these children.

As we left the children were lined up outside to walk us to the taxi that was waiting for us. They were all so grateful for our short visit. You will be in my heart, bless you children of God.

Amazing Journey

2007-03-29T11:22:00.000-07:00

Today there is so much to report I hardly know where to start; but I guess I will go where my heart leads.

We are now staying in the town of Rybinsk. It is rare for a foreigner to be here. No tourists come here. We are here for two reasons. Our son's orphanage is here and we met a wonderful woman doing amazing work for the orphans here. She invited us to stay with her, so we are very near our son's orphanage. Otherwise, it would have been about a 2 hour drive each direction to visit him. It would be unlikely that we would get to see him very much otherwise. (She is really treating us well, cooking for us and translating for us. Very Russian hospitality - even though she is Australian, her Russian friends call her Russian).

Rybinsk is much larger than we originally thought. It is a city of about 500,000. There are several factories here; a working man's town. The average salary is about $400/month. Food and shelter is slightly cheaper than in SF, but not that much. You can see that people really struggle to get by. Regardless, it is a beautiful town with many beautiful friendly people.

We visited Ruslan today at his orphanage. They had a puppet show (put on my orphanage staff) and we went to see it with him and all the other children. It was the 1st time that we got to see the other kids. There are 25 of them right now from 3 yrs to 7. They let us see where Ruslan sleeps and otherwise lives. We got to play with all the kids outside for a while; ring around the rosey, hide & seek, chase, and a little soccer. Ruslan was giving us the grand tour and definitely showing off. It was a side of him we have never seen before. He was so proud to have a mama and papa. He was quite a bit possessive. All the other children were so excited to have us there. They all wanted attention from us. Ruslan didn't like that he was having to struggle to monopolize us (one of the staff told me that he was worried we might change our mind about him and want one of the other children instead). The other children really broke my heart also. I can't get them out of my mind today. They all really want a mama and papa. They don't understand why Ruslan gets one and they don't. They are all so starved for love and affection. My only regret today is that I don't understand more Russian. All the kids (including Ruslan) were trying to tell us things that we just didn't understand. We read their eyes. Those haunting eyes.

The weather here has been gorgeous, about 65 degrees clear and sunny. The sunset tonight was like nothing I have ever seen. There was so much glow coming from the sun that it made the sun look kind of oval. The red was so scarlet, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The clothes I brought are totally inappropriate; far too heavy. Everyone says that this beautiful weather is very unseasonal and could never have been expected, so we are just very fortunate (even if a little over dressed).

We are also doing work with the missionary we are staying with (getting around on foot and by bus just like the locals- no cushy driver this week). So far, we are helping work on their church, but we will also help with some of the other orphanages. I will post about that later in the week. We met tonight to clean the church with a couple of their cell groups. They were very much like family. We enjoyed the fellowship with them. They really made us feel welcome. We cleaned and cooked alongside them. We learned how to eat Russian style. Over the meal (of boiled potatoes, sardines, oil, some kinda veggie/caviar spread, bread and sweets) we all shared how we came to be there and to our faith. It was a wonderful ecumenical cultural fellowship experience. When I shared about Ruslan, there was much crying with and for us. My heart is on overload right now. I think I must go pray. Thanks to all of you out there who are reading this for being with us through this adventure. Love, Elaine & Ken

Prayers Answered

2007-03-27T03:15:00.000-07:00

Thanks to everyone who helped us sail through court today! Your prayers and ours were answered. It has to have been the easiest court proceeding ever in the world. Everyone was introduced, the motions were read, our rights were explained, then we were asked to present anything we wanted to support our petition. We explained that we always wanted a child and how we would care for Ruslan. The prosecutor made a statement, saying basically that she did not contest the petition. Then, the social worker read a statement, explaining why she thought we would make a good home for Ruslan. The judge did NOT ASK us even one question. He just asked us to leave the room while he made his decision. Two minutes later he asked us to come back in and he read his final decree. As he pronounced that we were officially Ruslan Cole Rachko’s parents, I started to cry. The serious nature of the court did not lose any meaning on me. All rose to depart the room as Ken and I embraced in a very joyous and emotional hug. The whole affair lasted around 20 minutes. HALLELUIA!!!

Now what you ask? Now we wait for the mandatory 10 day waiting period to see if any one comes forward to contest. I thought that any Russian family could come forward and decide to adopt him, but I am told that this is not true. The only ones, who can come forward at this time, would be his biological family. Since no one has been able to contact them, it is very unlikely. After the 10 day wait period is up, the official court decree can be obtained. Then, we can go pick up Ruslan and take him with us as we process his paperwork for travel (passport, visa, etc.).

During the next 10 days, we will be staying with a missionary in Rybinsk, the town where Ruslan’s orphanage is. We hope to be able to see him daily and begin to forge our bond with him. The orphanage director told us that she could not let him go with us overnight, but that we can take him out during the day, so long as someone from the orphanage is with us. Chaperoned visits only. It’s not what we hoped for, but we will take what we can get. Our chaperone will be Olya, the assistant orphanage director that we like so well.

This is truly a time for REJOICING! I think Ken and I will go out now and celebrate.

We Meet Again

2007-03-26T11:09:00.000-07:00

Today was Monday. We went to visit Ruslan. Although, we started out full of anxiety about our meeting; our little guy totally warmed our hearts. He was so excited to see us, and also nervous. He was a little shy at first, but opened up in a short time. He recited some of the English words he had been practicing (he can count to 10 and ask for "macaroni"), and we recited some of the Russian we had been practicing (counting to ten and no I didn't let Ken ask for a "piva"). He gave us the art project he had worked on earlier that day. We played with him with a auto-center pop-up toy we brought. If we got distracted by one of the other adults in the room, he would quickly say "Papa, look!" or "Mama, watch this!" He was very much enjoying our attentions. He is such a sweet loveable little guy. He wanted us to know that he still wants to come with us. He promised that he would do chores, like always pick up his toys, clean his room, and wash our cars. Not sure why how he came up with the washing of cars (maybe 'cuz he likes cars?), but Elaine was very happy since hers is always in need of a wash. Although, Ruslan is such a little guy we are not quite sure how he will reach the top of the car. He hasn't grown much since we saw him last. In fact, for some reason he seems a little smaller. Hugs and kisses were had all around (several times). Ruslan even asked for a kiss in English. Once again, we are busting at the seams. We are so happy to be the parents of Ruslan Cole.

We go to court tommorrow morning. Everybody here (our coordinator/translator, the orphanage director, and her assistant director) all seem to think we will sail through court. We are feeling much more confident by all the support. We know that the Lord is with us. We prayed together this morning for His Spirit to guide us. The readings this morning were of the annunciation. This really brought us back to the beginning of our journey and the realization that we are right on track with God's plan.

We will post again after court.

Final Preparations

2007-03-22T14:01:00.000-07:00

These last two weeks have been a whirl of activity getting ready to go get our boy. Making travel plans for Moscow, Yaroslavl, Rybinsk and back to Moscow, gathering items needed for gifts, tying up loose ends on the home front, and packing for us and Ruslan. We are filled with every emotion under the sun. Things are winding down as we prepare to fly out of the country tommorrow (Friday, March 23). It will take several days to actually reach the region of Yaroslavl. We should be there Sunday evening and expect to see Ruslan on Monday. Overall, anticipation and joy reigns. We keep reminding ourselves that we are blessed and every stone on the path helps us to know who it is that we need for strength, nourishment and peace. We can't wait to share the rest of this phase of our journey.

Amazing Grace

2007-03-21T19:02:00.000-07:00

We were blessed in a big way this last weekend. Ken was looking at the mail and he held up a strange looking letter and said "what is this?" I walked over to see what he was talking about and started looking at it also. We both stood there in a little shock with the envelope in the air. I started to shake, then I started to cry. I said through my tears that it looked like a letter from the orphanage. What a beautiful envelope, with a winter scene all over it. We tried to make out the address in writing (all in Russian) and could decipher that it was from Yaroslavl Oblast (region). Finally, I said, "Why don't we open it?" Sure enough it was a beautiful letter from our son. He told us that he missed us and wanted us to hurry and come get him. He told us of the plans he was making for celebrating the New Year (obviously it was written around Christmas time). He told us that he loved us and missed us. It was an amazing blessing! Also, included in the letter was a beautiful painting he called it "Winter." It is painted on white paper. We attached a copy to share with you all.

Reality Sinking In

2007-03-13T16:34:00.000-07:00

Reality is sinking in today. I am going to be a MOM. Yesterday - - still in a little shock. Today seems more real. We made our flight plans this morning and got off our visa documents. We even purchased a one-way airline ticket for Ruslan Cole Rachko. This afternoon, I talked to Dr. Curtis at the Children’s International Clinic in Oakland to make an appointment for him. It is very important to make sure he gets evaluated right away, so that if he needs any special care of any kind we can get going on it up front. It really felt like a mom-ly thing to do, making a doctor appointment for my boy.
I am taking the time right NOW to reflect on just how wonderful this is. It could be easy to get caught up in all the hustle and bustle in what has to be done; BUT I am savoring every second of this life that I have waited so long for. Is it Thanksgiving? For me it IS! Thank you, Lord!

Praise God! We are off!

2007-03-12T06:52:00.000-07:00

Our long awaited court date has finally been scheduled! We are off to Russia to get our son. Ruslan, here we come. Hallelujah! We are now scheduling our trip and plan to leave for Russia sometime between March 22 to 24th. Our court date is March 27. We need you all to pray really hard for us that day so that we sail through court on angel's wings (remember Russia is about 11-12 hours in advance of us). We don't expect to be back before April 17. We will let you know as things transpire. Right now the hurry up and get things ready has begun! We need to go work on our visas, etc. Thank you all for helping us get to this point.

Refreshment

2007-03-08T12:20:00.000-08:00

Today's 1st daily reading really effected me today. I feel compelled to share part of it here.

"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. They shall be like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots by the stream. It shall not fear when heat comes., and its leaves shall stay green; in the year of drought it is not anxious, and it does not cease to bear fruit.

The heart is devious above all else; it is perverse-- who can understand it? I the Lord test the mind and search the heart, to give to all according to their ways, according to the fruit of their doing." Jeremiah 17:7-10

This passage was a great comfort to me and has renewed my strength. I feel like the tree stretching its roots out into the stream for refreshment so that during this time of drought my leaves will remain green. It is a challenge to live in the moment continuing to bear fruit when so much importance is at stake. As the 2nd paragraph of the reading says, "the heart is devious." My heart is certainly devious, it trys to drive me to anxiety and despair. I am grateful for these reminders that help me re-focus on my source of nourishment and the good works I have the opportunity to do right here and right now.

All Ready!

2007-03-07T12:13:00.000-08:00

Re-painted, new linens, grandma's homemade quilt, new lamp, new rug, new toys and lots of new clothes. Thanks to all of you, we are ready for our little man's arrival.

Judge has been sick, apparently an epidemic of flu in the region. Once he is back it will be close to 2 mos. since our final documents were delivered. Hopefully, it will be our turn SOON.

Playing Games?

2007-03-03T16:39:00.000-08:00

The judge is really playing games with us. Every week he makes an appointment with our coordinator, then finds some lame excuse (at least in our view it is lame) and tells her to come back next week. This has been going on for 6 weeks already. There is much speculation as to why he is doing this, but nothing that we can know for sure. The last family that went through in this region with our agency waited for two months before finally getting a court date. Looks like we might have a couple more weeks if he goes on the same schedule with us. This waiting is very hard, but we are doing our best to take advantage of the time and continue to reorganize the house, etc.( a life-long project for us). Nonetheless, we are hopeful that our day will come. As I have said before - SOON.

SOON

2007-02-28T10:23:00.000-08:00

The latest news is that our coordinator saw the judge Monday and he told her to come back AGAIN Friday. It seems that he just doesn't feel that we have all waited long enough yet. The problem is that he just keeps stringing us along, week by week. If we would have known that it would be a month or two, it would have been easier to handle. The day by day, week by week is definitely tough. Nonetheless, we are hanging in there. We know that in the scheme of life, it will be SOON. Such a relative term. Does it mean a couple more days? A couple more weeks? or what? Only God knows.

Making God Laugh

2007-02-23T12:22:00.000-08:00

I had to post this quote. It is from a new movie coming out this summer called "Bella" it's about adoption. It sure fits our journey:

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”
From an old Yiddish proverb,"Mann tracht und Gott lacht."

A Turning Point

2007-02-22T14:19:00.000-08:00

My heart has been very calm and positive this week. This is really a turning point. For months I have been telling myself to "let go and let God," but telling and doing can be two different things, entirely. I think the series of events that have transpired over the last month has simply worn me down. I can't give this any more stress, I HAVE FINALLY actually let go. It is amazing the peace and confidence that I feel. I know that God is answering my prayers, I just don't know when. I don't care, because I am sure that His timing will work better than mine anyway. I think I have finally caught up with Ken. He is excited and anxious, but always seems to remain calm and confident about it. He has truly been a rock for me.

I debated on naming this post, "Whatever" a thing I hear the kids say a little too often, but I think it fits. The latest I heard from the Russian front was that, the judge was in and out yesterday, our coordinator tried to grab him today - and he made an appointment with her for Monday (Feb 26). The other family that has been in Yaroslavl getting their son is leaving this weekend - so hopefully he will now issue a court date (finally!) for us! Whatever.

A Time for Everything

2007-02-19T11:27:00.000-08:00

We have heard nothing yet. Apparently, our coordinator did not get any information from the judge last Friday. I am guessing she probably did not even speak to him. We were told that she will try again today. I cannot keep doing this (moment by moment, day by day), so I have to let it go or I will drive myself crazy (actually, I think I am half way there, so I will have to turn around and drive back). I will leave this in God’s hands. Right now, I am reflecting on a passage I read for a service recently:
“There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.” (Eccl 3:1)
We are confident our time will come.

Still Nothing

2007-02-18T11:34:00.001-08:00

Waiting until Monday. Will post then.

Easing our pain

2007-02-16T14:15:00.000-08:00

For all those who are waiting breathlessly with us, I thought it best to post something today even though there is really nothing to post. Our coordinator was supposed to meet the judge and get dates today, but no one has heard anything from her. We know that she has her hands full with another family who is in town, so we will continue to be patient and wait our turn. I know that many of you are struggling with all this waiting almost as much as we are. We appreciate your love and prayers and will continue to update this blog the minute we hear anything. Even as minor as it may be.

Drawing out the Torture

2007-02-14T13:29:00.000-08:00

Our translator did meet with the judge yesterday. He told her that he is finally pretty much done reviewing our dossier. He asked her how long he has had the dossier now, and she told him 2 weeks - and he basically said to come back in on Friday for the dates (he just didn't feel like he had tortured us quite enough yet). Apparently - he just plans to "hold" or review dossiers for 2 weeks before giving a court date - not sure - but looks like we may finally have a date on Friday, February 16th. The best news so far, is that he has not asked for any other documents, or changes - This is great! Just hanging on till Friday. I know there are a lot of you hanging on with us. Thanks for that and HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!

Today's News?

2007-02-13T14:38:00.000-08:00

Our Russian coordinator was supposed to have a meeting with the judge today about our documents. We have been waiting to hear the results of that meeting but nothing yet. I don’t have any idea what to think. Except, I guess we will hear something tommorrow. This waiting is the hardest of all, and we have certainly had more than our fair share of it. And now, here I am again with my phone hung around my neck so that I don’t miss the call we are waiting for. The upside is that I really know what it means to pray unceasingly. I go about my day trying to live in the moment with a constant prayer in my heart. I’ll post as soon as I hear any news. Thanks for checking in with us.

Insights

2007-02-12T18:06:00.000-08:00

This is a photo of a picture that Ruslan Cole drew for us during our last visit with him. We showed it to a friend of ours who took a copy of it to show to his daughter, who just happens to be a child psychologist. She analyzed it for us and gave us some very positive insights into our little son. I won't go into all the detail that we got, but just to say that her evaluation confirms much of what we felt and observed in meeting him. He is very positive, hopeful and industrious, lacking only in parental support and encouragement. That is all about to change very soon. We love you Ruslan Cole.

A Little More Time

2007-02-09T15:05:00.000-08:00

The judge said he needs a little more time. He asked our translator to come back next Tuesday at 4PM. The good news is that he has looked through most of our documents and doesn't have any problems so far. The bad news is that we need to wait a little longer to hear anything definitive. We had our hearts steeled for further delay, so we are hanging in there and are still very hopeful.

An Evening of Blessing

2007-02-05T11:22:00.000-08:00

Friday night, February 2nd was such a special evening of blessing from all the women in my life. My female friends hosted an adoption/orphanage shower. To me it was like a mini women's retreat. I was showered not only with gifts, but with love, blessings and advice. Katie, a special friend (and mother of little Noah, who has been instrumental in our journey to family) gave a heartfelt reflection, then opened the floor to everyone else to share about an important woman in their life, or words of wisdom to pass to me. My heart and my being were lifted. I felt enriched with insight and indoctrinated into the kinship of motherhood. The past several months have been very trying, as a result I managed to put a steel cage around my heart to protect myself. It has been hard to open that cage and let myself experience the joy of being so close to the end of this darkness. But this experience with the special women in my life has opened the flood gates of joy. I am so grateful and very humbled by the expressions of love and support. I am especially grateful that my sister-in-law, Laura was able to come all the way from Seattle to represent my mother and sisters. I know that many family and friends were not able to be present physically due to distance and other personal reasons, but I know that the spirit of all was present. Special thanks go to Gail for arranging the celebration and all the logistics and to Katie for a poignant program.

A Longer Night

2007-02-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

Well, the judge has had our documents since Jan 24th. The 1st appointment with him scheduled for Jan 31st was postponed till Friday, Feb 2nd. That day, he told our translator that he was only part way through his review and needed another week. So, we sit tight till next Friday. I am told these little delays are par for the course. They are common and don't worry us at all. We are a little behind in our preparations for Ruslan's coming, so we are happy to have a little extra time. We know that the dawn of our family is imminent, it is just the preceding darkness that will be a little bit longer.

Valentine's Gift?

2007-01-25T09:42:00.000-08:00

Our documents were placed in the judge's hot little hands yesterday. Our translater has an appointment with him next Wednesday to get his comments. If he has no problem with our documents, that should be the day he will issue us a court date. So far, he has been giving 2 week lead times. Which means, our court date could be as early as February 14th, Valentine's Day. That would be the best gift of love we could ever receive.

In and Out

2007-01-08T13:23:00.000-08:00

All the documents we were waiting for came in over the Christmas holidays. We got them processed and sent them on their way last week. Soon they should be in Russia getting translated. We hope that the judge will get them soon after he returns from his holiday. We expect that this is it for the paper chase and that we will be getting notification of a court date soon. It is at the court hearing that we will officially be Ruslan Cole's parents. After which we will be able to bring him home at last. So long as the judge doesn't find anything wrong with what we have turned in, we expect to get a court date within a couple weeks from his approval of our documents. This could mean that we will be travelling as early as the 1st week in February. We truly believe that we are in the home stretch. We have quite a bit to do to get ready over the next few weeks, but we are more than ready in our hearts.

Christmas Angels

2006-12-21T14:23:00.000-08:00

Where of all places do you think I would find Christmas angels? In the County of San Mateo, Tax Assessors office. Yes, it's true. There were actually 3 of them there that helped me get a letter needed for our adoption paperwork. It was definitely something outside their normal duties, but they were willing to see the human element in the situation and respond. They wished their blessings on us and I wished blessings on them. Now all we wait for is our FBI clearances. Dear little Ruslan, I believe you are getting closer to our lives. I wish Christmas angels for all of you who read this blog. Merry Christmas!

Focus on What’s Ahead

2006-12-19T14:55:00.000-08:00

As we are waiting on some documents to come in (the child abuse clearance and our FBI fingerprints), we were notified of one of the documents we already submitted that was rejected. It is our proof of home ownership document. We had it signed/notarized by a realtor, but apparently that was not “official” enough. They want an actual certified copy of our deed and the proof of home ownership letter to be signed by the Tax assessor. I jumped right on it and went to the County offices last week, got the deed OK, but the letter from the assessor is posing a problem. They are discussing it there to see if there is anything they can do to help. It is definitely going to require someone being able to think outside the box. We are not sure yet how this one will play out. Just more bumps on the road.

This road has been long and challenging. There have certainly been many times when we are discouraged. It is at times like these that I have to look to the Source of all for nourishment to help. Recently, I have found some inspiration in a couple passages that I want to share.

The exact day last week that I heard about another one of our documents getting rejected, this passage was in the readings for the day “They that hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will soar as with eagles’ wings; They will run and not grow weary, walk and not grow faint.” (Isaiah 41:31) I could hardly believe it, it was just what I needed to hear. It gave me the energy to zip over the County offices with determination.
Today is the reading about Zechariah. He had been praying for years for a son. He never stopped making his petition to the Lord, even though he had become accustomed to the silence. When the angel appeared to him to tell him that his wife, Elizabeth would conceive in her old age, it is not surprising that he was terrified and responded in disbelief. (Luke 1:5-25) The reflection in the “Word Among Us” (a daily meditations publication) about this passage was most meaningful for me. It talks about how frightening it can be when God does answer our prayers. The gift comes with new challenges that invite us to grow and change. It specifically spoke to how different life will be for new parents. All these new challenges will drive us to depend on God in new and different ways. I want to quote the ending of this meditation, since it perfectly captures my heart today. “The angel reminds us to keep our eyes on the joy set before us, just as Jesus did (Hebrews 12:2). God never gives us a challenge without providing the means to meet it. All we need is patience and trust. Lord, help me to believe that you love me and long to fulfill the desires of my heart. Help me let go of the fear that holds me back from rejoicing as you answer my prayers.”

What Child is this?

2006-12-11T12:19:00.000-08:00

As I listen to this song this season, it has special meaning for me. We have been ruminating repeatedly on all the tidbits of information we have about our son. We know that he is beautiful, because we saw him. We look at his picture several times a day. We think about the intensity in his eyes, the dimple in his chin and the wry mischievous smile he wears. We know that he likes cars and constructing things because he told us so and we saw how much fun he had with the remote control car we gave him. We know he has artistic ability from the beautiful picture he painted for us. His picture also tells us that he is positive and hopeful. His caretakers told us that he is doing well in his pre-school classes. We know he is anxious about the school he will attend here, because he asked us to send him pictures of his new classroom. His caretakers also told us that he is outgoing and friendly. He told us that his best friend’s name is Roman. We know that he likes all food, except cabbage. He particularly likes meat, especially sausage, but his favorite food category is sweets with ice cream taking top billing. We know that he is adventurous; he expresses a willingness to go with two practical strangers halfway around the world to live.

Even though we have all these things about him to ponder, I cannot help wondering, “What child is this?” There is still so much to know, so many things to learn and so much time to make up for. We want to be the best parents we can be. The words of Olga, the director of Ruslan’s orphanage, keep ringing in my ears. She said, “The main job of a parent to is help their child find his/her own unique and special gifts. The gifts buried inside that will make the world a better place.”

In this season that we reflect on the birth of our Savior, I know that the Blessed Mother holding Baby Jesus in her arms was wondering the same thing. “Mary treasured all these things and reflected on them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19) Mary has been a special guide on this journey to family. We are doing our best to follow her lead and continue to put our trust in God.

Sliding into Homeplate

2006-12-04T12:17:00.000-08:00

We are feeling like we are finally sliding into home. Our little guy should be home with us in the next few months. We had some horrendous paperwork issues since we have been home that we weren't sure we would be able to overcome, but it seems that we are on the way to solutions. Most of our documents were notarized and apostilled last Friday and sent to our coordinator on the eastcoast. She should get them today and send them on to Russia. Overnight mail takes 4-7 days to get to Russia. Once they are there, they will be translated (another 4-7 days), then presented to the judge. We are praying that when he sees them, that he likes what he sees and issues us a definitive court date. We know that it would be a miracle to get one before the end of December, so we are being hopeful for late January or early February. Then, we will be on our way to bringing Ruslan Cole Rachko home. We will be making a visit to his new school this week to speak with the principal about enrolling him, we will also be making an appointment with a local pediatrician as well. Things are rolling along. We are sliding into homeplate at last.

Foiled Again

2006-11-24T16:08:00.000-08:00

Sorry we haven't posted since we've been back. The last week has been very frustrating us. We had hoped to jump right in and finish up our paperwork within the week and get it all sent out to Russia. We were foiled in two areas. First, we found out that we have more paperwork requirements piled on by the judge in Yaroslavl. He wants FBI fingerprints (in addition to the 3 state, one federal and one local police fingerprints that we already had), an updated copy of our Child Abuse Clearance (which requires more state fingerprints) and a letter from the California State Medical Board which states that our doctors have the authority to sign off on our medical forms. All these will take several more weeks to satisfy. Our 2nd area of trouble has been our homestudy agency. They were bought out by another agency in So. Cal who has since transferred to Central Valley. We need some of our documents from them, yet they seem to be very unresponsive. They promised to have our documents ready when we got back, yet when they finally returned Elaine's call 1 week later, nothing had been accomplished. Elaine continues to call and email daily. We may have to take a trip down there next week, if things don't move soon.
We were so hopeful after having met Ruslan. We really want to get him home soon. Being hit with new requirements and the stonewalling by our homestudy agency really got us down this last week. We needed a few days to pull our strength together for the long haul. We have re-energized and will do whatever it takes to get our little guy home. Last week we went out to dinner and Ken said "I just want to get him home and get on with this parenting thing." That pretty much sums up both of our sentiments at this time.

Final Post from Moscow

2006-11-09T02:20:00.000-08:00

Right now we are waiting for the driver to take us back to the Demedovo airport in Moscow for our journey home. We have enjoyed our stay here in Moscow, although is was much longer than anticipated. We had hoped to be longer in Yaroslavl. Ken says he has seen enough museums to last him for the next few years.

Overall, we think Moscow is a beautiful city. Not just because of the the history, art, and architecture but mostly because of the people. We have found the people to be kind, generous, patient and friendly. We have noticed no negative feelings toward us as Americans. We have been very appreciative of everyone's patience with our lack of language skills. They seem genuinely appreciative of any efforts we have made to speak their language.

Most of all we will be missing Ruslan. We know that we are very blessed to call him "son." Even though it is premature to say so, since he has certainly already been born in our hearts. Since it is premature, we have removed the pictures of him from this site. We can't officially call him son until the final court hearing. Right now, we are very anxious to get home and finish all the final paperwork. Once it is submitted, it must be translated and reviewed by the judge in Yaroslavl. Then, he will set a court hearing for us. After his pronouncement at that hearing, we can officially call Ruslan, "son."

We are being very hopeful that we will get this accomplished before the end of the year, even though that will be a tough order. It could take several weeks for the judge to review our final documents. If there is a delay until after the 1st of the year, then it will have to wait until after the Russian holidays (after mid January). At that time, some of our documents expire and we are in the paperchase all over again. We will be praying hard and working hard to beat some of these deadlines.

We do not want to say good-bye to Russia (das vidanya), just so long for now (paka). Please hold our heart with care until we return.

Out in Moscow

2006-11-06T05:40:00.000-08:00

Today we did some touring of Moscow with our translator/facilitator here, Philip. He is very knowledgeable and was a great guide. We went to Red Square, saw the Kremlin, Lenin's tomb, & St. Basil's Basilica as well as the large government shopping mall next door. Today is a national holiday relating to unity of ideas, so we saw some demonstrators in Red Square capitalizing on the situation. We also had some sunshine today for the 1st in several days. Moscow is a very beautiful city, even more so in the sunshine. Especially this center area of Red Square. We were surprised that there really are no skyscrapers in this very large city. The tallest buildings are a series of 7 huge gothic apartment buildings called the 7 sisters built by Stalin. It does give a city a feel of openness. We also found out that some of the military we have seen are military police who have been patrolling more than usual this weekend due to the holiday and to keep any demonstrations orderly.

Village house pic

2006-11-06T04:59:00.000-08:00

Here is the pic I tried to add to the last post. Maybe I will be more successful this time.

Reflections/Contrasts

2006-11-06T04:40:00.000-08:00

Because the last days in Yaroslavl were so hectic we just put in our blog the most essential. Now that there is a little more time we want to share some reflections on our experiences of the past week.

In general, Russia seems to be a land of contrast. It surely has had that effect on me as I feel the contradictions in my own heart. First, the contrast between the former Soviet Union and today’s Russia of consumerism. You can still see the older women with the drab looking military style uniforms (particularly in the subway attendants) contrasted with the very flashy, colorful and stylish younger women. The average woman in Russia (city women at least) dress up much more than your average American woman and don’t seem to be afraid to be a little flambouyant. This is evident everywhere. Contrast is also seen is how the people live. In Yaroslavl, we had the opportunity to drive all over town. I never saw a single family home. Only huge apartment buildings that look similar to our government projects. Lena, our translator, told us that in fact these buildings were government projects, which are now mostly rentals, some condos. Some are nicer and in better shape than others. Outside of town in the villages, people live in little village houses, which are just little one or two room cottages. Some of these are in better shape than others, also. As I mentioned in a previous post, no matter how run down or not these small cottages were the ornamentation on them was striking; especially the windows. I have included a picture of one with this post.

I also want to mention the obvious strong military presence here. I thought maybe in Yaroslavl it was because there were a couple of military schools there, but in Moscow we see it also. Standing in groups in the subway, marching along the river bank, patrolling the streets; we see military men in their camouflage uniforms and Cossack hats everywhere.

There is a contrast also between the European style sparse hotel we stayed in, in Yaroslavl and the one we are staying in now, the American style Marriott Tverskaya with all the amenities and conveniences. We actually prefer the European style hotel, but are enjoying being in the lap of luxury nonetheless. We actually had hoped to stay with a family here in Moscow, so that we could get a better feel for the reality of life for the average Russian, but it just didn’t work out.

As I mentioned above, we are also conflicted in our hearts. We still have an aching pain left from our visit with Nikolai. When we set out on our journey, we were so positive that we had the right referrals. We never thought we would be faced with the challenge of having to refuse one. We know that other people have experienced it, but somehow we thought we would escape it. Not so. It seems that the Lord wants us to experience every rock in the road. Out of respect for this little boy, we will not discuss his particular issues, but we will continue to pray for him and hope you will too.

Things are changing in the adoption world in Russia. There are less children available due to the newly implemented foster care program. The government has some money right now and is paying families quite a bit to foster children in their homes. I know that it may not be true everywhere in Russia, but we think the orphanages in the Yaroslavl region were very well run and were doing as good as they could for the children under their care. We saw true concern for the little ones in their caretakers. This is contrasted with the harsh realities of their previous lives. Each child has a story and all of them are ones that none of us want to hear. I hope you will all understand that we feel it necessary to protect our son in this matter also. We will not be divulging details about his history before the orphanage until/and or if/ he is ever ready to do it himself.

Despite all the conflicted feelings inside us, our overwhelming emotion is that of joy and hope. I asked Ken this morning what he wanted to share and he said that what is most in his mind is all the things that he will do with, teach and share with his son. He is thinking of the things that he enjoyed when he was Ruslan’s age and he looks forward to sharing these joys, challenges, experiences with his son. Menya tozhe (me too).

2006-11-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

In Moscow

2006-11-05T09:48:00.000-08:00

Today we are in Moscow. We really wanted to stay a couple more days visiting Ruslan, but since his orphanage is on a military base, they were closed over this long weekend. Not sure why but it is a 3-day weekend for them. Anyway, we took the long train back to Moscow. We were planning to stay with a host family, but ended up at the Marriott Tverskaya. All the conveniences of home. The contrast is kind of weird for us. We got lost on the huge subway system, but finally found our way to the State Tretyakov Gallery, one of the largest art museums in the world. We had a great dinner at a small cafe near the Gallery and found our way home. We think we may have the subway system down. We really miss Ruslan. It will be very hard leaving him here. I still can't believe that we found him. He was genuinely happy to see us also. We can't stop thinking about him. I keep seeing his little face blowing us kisses good-bye. Just had to add this picture of us with Ruslan.

Mama and Papa

2006-11-05T09:13:00.000-08:00

Today was a day we remember for the rest of our lives. It was the day that our son called us “Mama and Papa.”

Ruslan is such a special boy. We can hardly believe that we are so blessed to call him “son.” He was so excited to see us and didn’t want us to go. We were able to spend 2.5 hours with him today. We took him out to the town (Rybinsk) to a park to play and for cake and ice cream. We brought him a remote control car to play with. He loved it. He could barely leave it alone, but was gracious enough to stop his play to take pictures with Mama and Papa. He loved playing with the camera too. We brought him some disposable cameras so he could take pictures at the Detskey Dom (orphanage), and he shot at least half a camera of pictures of Mama & Papa. We told him that we have been looking for him for a long time. He said he was waiting for us for a long time, too. He hopes we will come back soon to get him. It was so hard leaving him there. But, we are also feeling blessed that he is in such good hands. He is in a small orphanage on a military base, just outside of Rybinsk, the town he was born in. The orphanage director, Olga, obviously cares a lot for Ruslan. They are very bonded. She is a very special woman who is striving to do the best for the children in her care. She has special preschool classes for the children that a lot of orphanages don’t have. She told me that she believes each child has special gifts inside and that it is our job as parents to encourage our children to find their special gifts I agree with her whole-heartedly. She is very happy that Ruslan found his parents and is trying to help him in his transition. Rybinsk is a small town about a 2 hour drive from Yaroslavl. Ruslan has never been outside of Rybinsk, but he is anxious to get on a plane and come to America. He is a boy with a lot of spirit and taste for adventure, even though we realize that he probably doesn’t have a clue about how far away America really is, or what he is getting himself into. He agreed to try and help Mama and Papa learn more Russian and he will take classes in English until we are able to come back and get him. Olga, was able to set up some private lessons for him with a local tutor for 2 times a week. I hope he is more successful than we have been. Somehow I am pretty sure he will be. He presented us with a very beautiful picture that he drew for us “all my himself” he said. It was a picture of him on the doorstep of a beautiful house (with a cat on the window sill). There is plenty of sunshine in the picture and a colorful birch tree. He obviously put a lot of effort into the picture.

From Yaroslavl

2006-11-03T07:49:00.000-08:00

Sorry we didn't post yesterday, but we were far too emotionally drained. It was a very long day. We travelled to one orphanage in Tolbuhino in the morning (about 1.5 hours outside of Yaroslavl) over very bumpy roads in a crowded car. Our translator, a social worker, our hired doctor, the driver and Ken and I. It was a very dismal day weather wise. Not only was the visit to the orphanage emotionally draining, but so was seeing all the poverty. Once you get out of the bigger cities, poverty becomes much more evident. We then returned to Yaroslavl and headed in another direction to Rybinsk, where we visited another orphanage. It is hard to post or explain next the result of our visits. The great news is that we did find our forever son in Rybinsk. His name is Ruslan. We formally accepted his referral and are very excited about it. Unfortunately, he will be an only son. We had a very difficult night trying to decide what to do about the other boy we visited. It was with a very heavy heart that we had to turn down his referral. This second boy had just too many problems. We were very scared that he was just too fragile to make the transition. We spent the rest of the day today trying to regain our emotions over that decision and to focus on the positive with our new son. We will see him again tommorrow. He is so cute and clever. His personality is very infectious. We could tell right away that he was meant for us. He seemed also very excited to see us. We hope to try to forge a bond with him before we leave. This afternoon we did some sightseeing in Yaroslavl. There is much history here as this town has been around for 1000 years. It is actually very beautiful. We had all kinds of different weather today, cloudy, rainy, snowy and sunny all in one day. Now it is time to have dinner. We will try to post again tommorrow or Sunday. Thank you all for your prayers, they are holding us up right now.

2nd Day in Russia

2006-11-01T08:18:00.000-08:00

Hi All, We found an internet cafe and are posting from here. Today we made the 4 hour train ride to Yaroslavl. The train was very quaint. The coach we sat in had very fancy curtains and little vases with plastic flowers on the table. We felt a little like being on the Orient Express in the 1940s. Outside the window mostly small country villages. Houses were very small and rustic. Amazingly most of the houses had very ornate window trims and were colorfully painted. The landscape was quite beautiful, although the weather a bit dismal. Yaroslavl is a city with a population around 600,000. There is every convenience here. We checked into our hotel and had a nice lunch and nap. We are very glad to have a driver and translator. It is much harder getting around than we thought it would be. The little Russian that Elaine learned has helped a little, but not enough. Tonight we are exploring the town on foot. Tommorrow we will get to visit both of the boys. Our big day. We are very excited. Truly the beginning of the rest of our lives. Hopefully we will be able to sleep tonight. Trying to get adjusted to the time change.

Here in Russia

2006-10-31T12:34:00.000-08:00

We made it to Russia. Wow, what a long trip. We are extremely beat. Check-in in London Heathrow was a nightmare. They didn't allow any liquids with your carry-on and only one carry-on per person. This was different than what United allowed during our initial check-in, so we were duped. Had to stand in a thousand queues to finally have to repack our bags and re-check them in. Ugh!!! Then when we meet our driver in Moscow, we hit the road for the city and there is bumper to bumper traffic, due to a big "futbol" game and an electronics expo in town, there was no getting anywhere fast. Our driver, very ingenious man, took a million different side streets allowing us to get a close-up view of Moscow neighborhoods. Beautiful city! Their are a lot of huge apartments everywhere that look somewhat similar to housing projects. Not too many single family homes. Our tour of the backroads was the good news, the bad news was that it took over 4.5 hours to reach our hotel (9:30PM tired and hungry). Weary, weary are we. Then we are told we need to meet our driver in the lobby at 7:20AM. What???? Why? Doesn't the train depart at 4:00PM for Yaroslavl? Yes, but there is an express train that departs at 8:15AM that they want us to be on. OK, whatever you want. First we need to eat and sleep at least a couple hours. This is all I can say for now, time to hit the sack. Excited, nervous and tired about the events that lay ahead. Plan to check in tommorrow evening.

Thanksgiving a month early!!!

2006-10-23T15:40:00.000-07:00

We just got our referrals!!!!! Two in fact! One is for a 6 year old boy, the other is another boy almost 5. We are busting at the seams with excitement!!!! Things will be crazy from now on. Leaving Oct 30th for Moscow. We will do our best to keep this site up to date. It is time now to take a pause to give our thanks. First and foremost to God, who has been in charge of this journey all along. But I also want to thank all of you who have been holding us up in prayer and best wishes. I know this miracle has been a community effort and I am sending blessings to all of you for it. Please don't stop yet though, we still need you to get us through till we bring the boys home. There are still many paperwork hurdles to jump through. In fact, I think we need you all now more than ever.

Adeen eelee Dva? (One or Two?)

2006-10-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

Haven't received the referral for our boy yet. We are told that they are trying to process the paperwork for a brother. We did ask for two, so they are trying to accommodate our original request. If the paperwork on the 2nd boy does not clear by Friday, they will send the 1st one alone. So we are wondering, will we have a family of four or three? We will wait and see continuing to put our trust in the Lord, who knows far more than we do about what is best for all of us. We still expect to travel before the month is out. Even Ken is showing signs of excitement. He woke me up yesterday morning with a file on life insurance, expecting me to understand the different types as I wipe the sleep from my eyes. He thinks we need more. I know Ken well enough to read these signs of excitement. Blessed be God.

Friday the 13th, Our Lucky Day!!!!!!

2006-10-13T18:38:00.000-07:00

Hoorah! Today we got the phone call that we thought would never come, that we can expect a referral to come on Monday for a little 6 yr. old. We will be making plans to go and visit him. We expect to leave for Russia before the month is out. Our new luckiest day is Friday the 13th!!!!!

Waiting

2006-10-07T12:24:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share some recent reflections I have had on this long, horrendous, challenging, painful wait. I realize that many, in fact I think I can say "most," who find their families through adoption, experience this excruciating wait. I have spoken to some who have waited 3 to 5 months and say every minute of that was excruciating. While there are others of us who can count our wait in years. It all seems so unfair, but what is fair anyway? and why does it matter? These are tough questions. I have found some consolation in the Book of Job. Job had everything and was a pious man. Then, he was struck down with a long period of horrendous suffering. He loses everything, his family is killed, his wealth demolished and he contracts a loathsome disease. He is truly in the pits. He does do plenty of whining and complaining, but never speaks against God. There are moments when he just wants to die. He gets some encouragement from friends, some of which is right on, some is not. Job calls out to God over and over. He acknowledges God's greatness and begs for an answer or explanation. God does eventually answer him and restores Job to a greatness beyond what he experienced before. Job is the best example I have seen yet of someone who waits on the Lord. There was no good explanation of what Job went through, but what is important is that he was deepened in faith and strength through his suffering, and God DID answer him.

TGIF

2006-10-02T12:11:00.000-07:00

In this case, thank God it's FRUA. FRUA stands for Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption. We have been a member for a couple of months and attended a few workshops they have hosted and a dinner meeting where we were able to talk to other pre-adoptive parents and adoptive parents who brought their children. This weekend we attended the FRUA annual picnic. It was a wonderful event. There were over 150 people in attendance. It was very encouraging to meet and talk to them. Most of the attendees were already adoptive parents and had their children with them. We were able to talk to many children who were adopted either as infants or older children. All the kids were so beautiful and amazing. Observing the families together gave us a vision of where we are going. It was all so very encouraging. It is so great to be able to share our thoughts and feelings with others who truly understand, others who have already been where we are going. We got alot of good advice and positive encouragement. I think it was great for the kids too, to be able to bond with others who also have so much in common with them. I can't wait to bring our kids with us next year. Another positive aspect of this experience was noticing that many (and when I say many, I mean most) of the adoptive parents were very close to our age. In fact, quite a few were even older than us. I am going to put the paranoia I have had about our age, to rest once and for all. TGIF!

Guardian Angels

2006-10-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

We heard last week that the Russian Adoption Center had picked out a couple of children for us and were doing the final record check when they found that the biological mother had recently been visiting them even though she had already signed off on the relinquishment form. So, our referral was cancelled and they started a another search for our true children. At first, I was sad and hurt. Just another delay in this long, long journey. Wondering if I would really be able to make it till the end. But after praying about it and asking Jesus to help me understand, I realize that my guardian angel is looking out for me. We would have been much more devastated had we gone to see these children, bonded, and then had their mother come to contest at the last minute. I see now that we were truly being protected. I am thanking God for that. Today is the Feast day of Guardian Angels. A perfect day for this insight.

Trust

2006-09-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

We thought we would have heard news of our referral last week, but nothing. Today I found out that the Russian lawyer who is working for the adoption center (handling our case) got married and went on a honeymoon. She left last week and will be gone this week too. She is due back next Monday. Apparently, she had hoped to get our paperwork before she left, but that didn't happen. So we continue to wait. Waiting is the hardest part of this entire journey. I have to admit that I have not always been very good at it, but I see that the Lord is providing me with ample opportunity to grow in this area. Thanks, Lord always looking out after me ;) . . . . . . . I started looking back through my hand-written journal in hopes of finding some lost inspiration. Sure enough, I found it. A year and 4 months ago, Mother's Day 2005, I knew that my annunciation had taken place. It was proclaimed that I would be a mother. I never knew at that time just how long this gestation period would last. I probably would have really freaked out if I did know then what I know now. It is funny how we can handle long waits better in little pieces. Breaking it down, taking it step by step. The passage that hits me today is "Blest is she who trusted that the Lord's word to her would be fulfilled." Luke 1:45 Today, I am focusing on my trust in the Lord.

Our Pact-Vine & Branches

2006-09-06T11:24:00.000-07:00

While we wait for news of our children, we continue to practice our Russian and talk lots about how we want to parent. I think it is important to chronicle a pact we made with each other a couple nights ago. My work is with teens and I see the results of lots of different parenting styles. We happened to be talking about a couple of children I know who could really use some counseling, but in both cases the parents refuse to go with their child to counseling. In one case, the parents don't even want to take their child to counseling at all and in the other the parents are willing to take their child to be "fixed" but don't want to go themselves. We surmise that they don't want to hear anything that might cause them to have to change or challenge themselves. Ken and I said that we certainly understand the hesitancy of people to face themselves. It certainly is difficult. Nonetheless, we made a pact with each other to be open to seeking whatever help our children might need and to be willing to challenge change in ourselves if that is what is needed. Our children will always come first. God is about to grace us with a special gift of parenthood and we don't want to take that gift for granted. The Lord is the vine and we are the branches. We are expecting that some pruning may be in order and are praying to be ready for the challenge. John 15:1-2 says: "I am the vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that bears no fruit he cuts away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes to make it bear even more."

They Asked About Us!!!!

2006-08-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

Our agency representative informed us that the Russian authorities for adoption have been asking about where our paperwork is? Meaning they are just as anxious to see our documents as we are for them to get them. Could it mean they have found some children they want to refer to us? Our representative thinks so. It still may be a couple of weeks before we get any pictures or the full referral (since they have to do some paper clearances on the Russian end first), but we may actually get some preliminary information late next week. Hallelujah! It seems my babies are getting closer to us.

Walking on Water

2006-08-21T16:25:00.000-07:00

I have to share a reading that really touched me Matthew 14:22-33. It's the passage about Jesus walking on the water. The beginning starts with Jesus going off by himself to pray. He needed to re-charge His batteries to the source of all strength and encouragement, His Heavenly Father. then He rejoins His disciples by walking across the water to catch up to them. A miracle to be sure, but no big deal for the Son of God. The disciples are frightened upon seeing Him and He tries to calm them down. Peter asks to go out the meet Him, and Jesus says "Come." Peter bounds across the water until he realizes what is going on and becomes afraid. At that point, he begins to sink. Jesus rescues him. -- This passage expresses how I feel. I know that I am in the middle of a miracle and I am excited as Peter was to run to my Lord, yet as I realize what is happening here - I often become afraid and start to sink. Yet, I do not fail to call out to Jesus to rescue me as He always does, working miracles in and through me. He who is always there loving and supporting me.

Judge Bends

2006-08-21T16:07:00.000-07:00

Good news! Our facilitator in Russia went to see the judge and discussed with him the notary laws in California. He agreed to bend a little and allow a specific form of notary called a jurat. Essentially the signer swears before the notary that the document is authentic and the notary signs to that. He wanted it in a little bit of an unusal format, but something that is at least legal here in CA. I just finished getting all the paperwork re-done with our notary per specification. I will take the documents back up to Sacramento tommorrow (feels like I am wearing a hole in the road from here to there). Then I will send the documents to our agency representative in Michigan, who will forward them to Russia. I have heard from several families who have adopted in this region, that the judge is very adoption friendly and really does want to see the children find a good home. His bending on this issue is an indication of this and an extremely good sign. Once again we are reminded that God is good!

Still not fixed, Still hopeful

2006-08-14T17:13:00.000-07:00

Our latest paperwork challenge is not yet overcome. Elaine went to Sacramento today in hopes of getting our re-notarized documents apostilled, but was foiled by the California State authority for notaries. They refused to bend or to see any possible loopholes we could squeeze through. It seems we have a stand-off between the Russian Judge and our California State Law. So, we are back to the drawing board on this one. We are not giving up hope though, just strengthening our resolve; learning to take these setbacks in stride. We will find a way around this pothole on our journey 2 family.

At Our Age

2006-08-10T17:06:00.000-07:00

We are joining a growing trend of mid-life parenting. I felt it was important to share our thoughts on this topic, since every now and again someone says to me "Wow, I don't understand starting this at your age." Usually, a comment like this is made by someone whose children are already grown and out of the house and now they are enjoying their new found freedom. These people like the majority out there started their parenting journey much earlier in life. While they were changing diapers and running around to little league, etc., Ken and I were advancing our educations and careers, travelling, improving our golf games, and indulging in our many hobbies. At a moments notice we have been ready to wine and dine with friends or otherwise enjoy some last minute invitation. We've taken advantage of and fully enjoyed our time as DINKs. I remember a time when one of my employees was lamenting her lack of advancement at work with envy toward my upwardly mobile status. She had several young kids at home who were constantly calling her at work and to whom she ran home to immediately at quitting time. Me, I stayed late, came in on weekends and was very focused on my job. I thoroughly enjoyed my career. LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE DRASTICALLY. Yes, we know it. We are about to be more tied down than we have ever experienced before. But, we also know that this is the right time for us. We have no regrets about what we are giving up, since we have already done it all. Our greatest enjoyment is spent in sharing in a little persons life. We cherish watching their excitement over a catepillar, or seeing them grow in understanding of life, sharing in their learning and developing of confidence. I think our age and experience creates a greater appreciation for the small things. All the small things we have missed thus far. We are both much more patient and centered and self-confident than ever before. We have much to offer our children and can't wait to discover what they will share with us. We certainly haven't gone into this adventure lightly, we have discussed, examined ourselves, and considered many options as would be expected at our age. In fact, for anyone considering this option of mid-life parenting or adoption in general, I would highly recommend the adoption consultant that we saw who helped us sort things out. Her name was Sara Lively (see the link attached to this post). Above all we believe that family is the purpose of life, it ranks the highest in our scheme of values right below faith in God. Our journey may not be typical, but that's OK with us.

Latest Paperwork Chase

2006-08-09T21:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday our agency called to tell us that there was good news and bad. The good news was that the Russian adoption center was actually looking at our paperwork and in the process of trying to find a match. (We were actually bumped ahead of a couple other families since we are asking for older children). The bad news is that they rejected 5 of our documents because they did not like how the notaries were handled. There is a conflict in how the Russian judge wants them done and what California State guidelines for notaries recommend. This has sent Elaine spinning around trying to find a solution to get them redone. This has not proved to be an easy problem to solve. Several local notaries refused to redo 3 of the papers since the originals are down with our homestudy agency in So. Cal. Our homestudy agency seems to be uncontactable for some strange reason. Finally, a good friend in LA was able to take care of the problem for us. Spasiba Balshoy, John!!!!! (Many thanks). We hope to have the redone documents in hand by Friday and get them re-apostilled in Sacramento Monday and back off to Russia. Still praying hard that they meet all inspections along the way. Another bump along the long and winding road to family.

Finally Registered Today!!!!!

2006-07-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

This is a big milestone for us. Praise the Lord! We are finally officially registered in Yaroslavl, Russia. This is the first big step ahead of where we were with Ukraine, since they never would allow us to get registered there. This means that the Ministry of Education (MOE) in Russia has accepted our registration dossier. Now they (the MOE in the Yaroslavl region) begin looking for kids that match up with our request. Then, they send us a referral package. Once we get the referral, if we accept it, we make plans to go and visit them. It could all start happening very fast right now. We are so excited!!! We could soon have a picture of our kids in our hot little hands. We are thanking the Lord for our many blessings.

Waiting & More Waiting

2006-07-06T20:48:00.000-07:00

The hardest part of this whole process has been the waiting. Today I read a bible passage on a post from another waiting family that I just have to post here. It gave me great encouragement:

"So we don't look at the troubles we have right now; rather, we look forward to what we have not yet seen. For the troubles we see will soon be over, but the joys to come will last forever". 2 Corinthians 4:18.

Catching up from the Beginning

2006-07-06T12:07:00.000-07:00

Where did this journey to family start? In the beginning... We agreed we wanted a family even before we married. (We married on June 9, 1990.) We always thought it would just happen when the time was right. After several years, we realized that it wouldn't be that easy for us. When we were told it wouldn't happen naturally, we began to look into adoption. This was in 1999. We took the San Mateo County fost-adopt course to learn about domestic adoption. The horror stories told during that course, scared us off. We entered a period of limbo. Elaine could never reconcile with being childless, somehow she knew she was supposed to be a mother, Ken wasn't always so perceptive.

It was several years before a little angel came to us, to help both of us understand the importance of family in our lives. We met little Noah in 2003 a couple of months after he was born. He is the child of some very good friends, Katie & Alon. We are blessed to be part of his young life. The time we have spent with him, helped us to see how important a child was for us. Our experiences with Noah also helped us to have the confidence that we could parent.

We began checking out the different options for adoption. In February of 2005 we decided that we would adopt internationally from Ukraine. In May 2005, we signed a contract with an adoption consultant to help us through the process of independent adoption. Our dossier was completed and mailed to Ukraine Aug 2005. Before it could be registered, Ukraine closed it doors to foreign adoption. We remained hopeful that it would only be a few months till it reopened, but after waiting 8 months we realized that Ukraine wasn't going to get it together in time for us. Our family couldn't wait. So, we started researching Russian adoption agencies and signed on with our new agency May 2006. Many of our documents had to be updated all over again. Our registration dossier was sent May 25th and is now in the process of being translated. We are hopeful that it will be registered in Yaroslavl soon.

Yaroslavl is the region in Russia that we will be adopting from. It is about a 2.5 hour train ride north of Moscow. A referral for children (we have requested two children, at least one boy, between 3 and 7 yrs) should come shortly after our documents are registered. As we wait for our referral we are praying alot, reading all we can about parenting, taking parenting classes, talking with lots of families who have already adopted from Russia, cleaning and reorganizing the house and also trying to learn a little Russian. There is much to do to get ready for our family. We are very excited and very hopeful, we know that God has His hand in all of this and wants to bless us soon.